We, Taito and Juha, started to ponder on this performance five years ago. The first notes date in autumn, 2005. Then Juha drove few times to Kantele to plan it. The moose carcase was shot in November. In December we shot some pictures of Taito as a moose-hunter. The ground and trees were white. We got a small grant for planning of the project.

In 2005, Taito's first daughter was born and Juha's father died. When did Taito's father die? Taito became a moose-hunter after his father died, because he wanted to keep the rifle father had made by himself. For that Taito needed a permission to carry a gun, and for permission he needed hunter's diploma.

In 2006, we made another performance together.

In 2007, Juha divorced.

In 2008, we wrote some emails, in order to find out if somebody would be interested in performance where nothing happens. Somebody was interested, but nothing happened. Image folder got bigger with one picture of a big Mercedes camper.

In winter 2009 we asked Sisu Trucks, Made in Finland, please, give us a truck. CEO's negative answer arrived the next day. The next week, we read in a newspaper that Sisu was about to sack a few employees. Scania, Made in Sweden, didn't answer at all. We applied to some grants for buying a truck, but didn't get any. We wrote budget and planned a tour covering the whole of Finland. Nothing happened. In the beginning of autumn or in the end of summer, Juha decided that it's up to Taito, whether something happens or not. Taito's second daugther was born in October, the same day as Juha.

January, 14, 2010, Taito and Juha meet to ponder, what has happened. Is it realistic to think that the Ten journeys to a place where nothing happens could have its premiere at the Baltic Circle festival in November?

1st day, August 16, 2010

In the morning, I called Tuija Kokkonen, and made a deal that we're going for the tent the next day at 4 pm. Tried to call Taito, too, but he didn't answer.

Taito called back in the afternoon, while driving home from Kuhmo. Tomorrow was ok, but afterwards it could be difficult.

2nd day, August 17, 2010 (4 h)

Taito came couple of hours late, before 2 pm. We drove to Malmi to take care of my businesses. Shopped food for the road, and ate that in Mercedes at the parking lot of Pirkkola sports park. Then we got the tent from Tuija's and a roll of light tarpaulin from my storage in Herttoniemi. Taito dropped me with my stuff at home. Finish of the day.

3rd day, August 18, 2010 (6 h)

Today, I should get a ride in Ilona's car to Kantele, in the afternoon. In the morning I bought some sail rings, which may be used for rigging the tarpaulin onto the tent.

Ilona picked me up at 3 pm. We drove to the airport to take onboard neighbours, who had been on holiday in Sardinia. Then to Etola to buy a 6 m x 10 m piece of light tarpaulin. We arrived to Kantele at 5 pm.

To dairy, to set up the tent. We found out, that it's not 4,8 m x 4,8 m, but 5 m x 6 m. We succeeded setting it up by two of us. It is beautiful. We keep our thumbs up that it won't be a rainy autumn.

After the tent's erection we went to sauna, and sat in the car, dreaming.

4th day, August 19, 2010 (5 h)

We woke up early. Came to the car at 9 am. For an hour, we shot pictures. Now we are making coffee, and start to write.

We wrote for two and half hours. Then we cooked reasonable amount of pasta. Now we eat.

5th day, August 24, 2010 (14 h)

7.30 bus to Pasila station runs late. Politely, the driver asks people to push the stop bell in time, so that she won't have to turn the wheel hastily. Still, I arrive to Pasila in time to wait for the train.

In Mäntsälä there is no station at all. It is a mere train stop.

Taito and Lempi come right away. We drive to bakery for coffee and buns.

At Taito & Ilona's place we carry wooden sofa, drawer and few boxes to Taito's van. We drive to the dairy. The wooden sofa gets stuck in the tight curve of the stairs. We keep pushing and pulling it for ten minutes, but it won't move anywhere. We bring it back downstairs, and try another way. We loosen couple of laths, but the result is zero. Back downstairs again, where we dismantle the sofa. The curve was a piece of cake, with the sofa in four or five pieces. In the old days, sofas were sturdy constructions.

After lunch, we drove with Merc to the tent. It is in good shape. We sit in the car, talking about timetable and budget.

6th day, August 25, 2010 (6 h)

I slept in the bus. Rain woke me up at 7. The skylight window, above the bed, leaks only at one spot, and just slightly. Heating works just for a moment, that is, in the night it was not on. Obviously, it started now. I made coffee. Through the window, the tent looks desperately wet. Feeling cold.

Yesterday night we watched Champions' League in the laptop: Sampdoria–Werder Bremen. It seemed that Bremen had already lost the game, when they evened it up on the 90+ minutes, made it to the extra time, and won. A great game.

Today we should continue discussing the timetable and budget. Waiting for Taito.

He came with breakfast sandwiches.

We make more coffee. Talk about heating of the tent. Cosiness seems to be the word. We end up with Zipro, kerosene heater. Then we find a 4,2 kW gas stove, 99 €. Consumption 100–300 g/h. They say that gas heater creates more moisture. I may be a problem in a tent in November?

7th day, September 14, 2010 (4 h)

I bought a sleeping bag. Going to sleep in the car next night. Now I'm waiting for Taito.

Taito came, and we drove to Kantele. At first, we emptied the old flat's porch. Then we ate. After that we assembled futon couch. It was good. After assembling the couch, we sat on it, talking. Later we watched Champions' League, Barcelona–Panathinaikos, 5–1, and Taito told a joke of polite moose, he had heard from Eero in English, in Finnish. Taito went to bed before the game was over.

8th day, September 15, 2010 (24 h)

It rained in the morning. We took the tent down. Spread the floor tarpaulin to dry into Taito's garage, after we had made some room for it amongst K-chairs, German school desk, silver Mustang, VW kleinbus, Taito's bike and several boxes and plastic bags. We also put Taito's timberjack equipment aside to wait for the journey to a place where nothing happens.

We spread the tent into Taito's studio, after we had removed mic stands, cables, extra mattresses, cd's, empty bottles, souvenir balalaika and tuba from the bed. Then we lifted the bed against the wall, and spread the tent on the top of two choir and two ordinary mic stands.

It didn't rain anymore when we started to village to eat, and to return empty bottles to shop. With that money we bought pancake ingredients for evening, and sauna beer.

It had started to rain again, when we began to fry pancakes with two pans. Today we tried my recipe: eggs, milk, salt, flour and melted butter. Delicious.

After the pancakes we checked the tent, which dried well. Then I read the story of three merry bandits in Kardemomme village for Helmi.

We finished the day in sauna, and swimming and drinking beer and remembering our childhood in Kuopio: ten sort of hide-and-seek, rally with miniature cars, football, downhill sliding in winter, Friday and Saturday nights at market square, glue sniffing, and those really wild boys.

9th day, September 16, 2010 (4 h)

I woke up, when Helmi yelled in toilet: "Somebody wipe me!"

The tent is nearly dry, and not smelly. We talked the October calender clear. Sun is shining.

10th day, October 2, 2010 (10 h)

Today we will drive to Näätänmaa, in order to pick up some props. Before, Taito will sing at funeral of friend's father. We'll meet in Kouvola, drive to Kantele, pack the Merc, and head for Savo province. We aim to arrive to Näätänmaa before midnight.

I take along a sleeping bag, a forehead lamp, work gloves, a pocket flask of whisky, tobacco, toothbrush and paste, a t-shirt and a pair of briefs, a pullover, woolen socks, cap and mittens, a book, this diary, a pen, recording equipment, and camera. I grab cellphone and wallet, too.

I arrived to Kouvola at 14.35, Taito was not there, so I went to café, and had a small beer. Sitting down, I saw Taito's car. Relieved, I realised that Finland is full of similar green Toyota Hiace's.

It is 15.10. I read yesterday's yellow paper, and had another beer. Visited loo. For that, I had to ask token from the cashier. The first one didn't work, back to cashier, and the second worked! A man with long hair and beard sat at the table next to me, a full, untouched pint front of him. He stared ahead of him. I began to fill sudoku.

At Taito's we played with kids for an hour. Then we searched for the keys of the cottage for half an hour. Packed the car, checked the oil and cooler. Trunk didn't want to shut, must check it, when we tank. We must tank often, because the meter doesn't work and Taito is not 100 % certain how thirsty Merc is, plus he doesn't know the exact size of the tank either. Now Taito goes to pay the car tax, and we can hit the road. Sun is going down.

After an hour, we stopped at Heinola Teboil, to shop food for two days: bread, paprika, sausage, chicken balls, ham, caviar spread,

bananas, tomato puree and sauce, pasta, milk, butter, cheese, cucumber, salt, onions, basilica, eggs, cider, gin long drink and beer.

We arrived to Näätänmaa after midnight. Stupendous starry sky.

11th day, October 3, 2010 (24 h)

We woke up at 9. Made coffee on stove, and plan: rocking chairs, bookshelf, wooden blocks. In cowshed, we found Warpak, an Ahlström Ltd. invention from the 50's: a hat-box kind of case of plywood, that was meant for conserving vegetables or berries. This Warpak contained a rocking chair cloth, a curtain, three brushes, cable fasteners, a fuse of fluorescent lamp and smaller stuff. Then we went for furniture. Opened the back door, and began to collect a bonfire in the middle of field: a bunk, a chair, a small armchair, a red tv-chair, a rocking chair and a drawer, that collapsed in our hands. We rescued two rocking chairs and two deck chairs, and found Taito's favourite lawnmower, which Taito's brother-in-law had declared useless. Did you use two-stroke gasoline? Taito asked. Yes, the man said. Well, it is a four-stroke machine, Taito thought.

Later we created some DIY art. Taito lopped off a crotch of a huge birch he had cut down in the summer. We lifted it up against a big stone, put a 20-liter aluminium milk bin and a zinc bucket on top of it and two twigs for arms. Neighbour Esko came by, and said, look at that monument.

In the evening we cooked, played Mastermind, drank beer, cider, gin long drink and whisky, and watched Wallander.

12th day, October 4, 2010 (24 h)

We woke up at 8. After coffee, we started to get ready for the return trip. Washed the dishes, cleaned the house, cut the birch to log-size bits – it took two hours – and tried to empty the boiler. Finally, we packed the car, checked the oil and cooler.

We began returning south by a 200-kilometre curve up north to Kuopio. Visited Taito's mother, ate and installed a computer. Visited her boyfriend, too. At 5 pm., we headed for south, along the road number 5.

At first we entertained ourselves by playing Mastermind without the gameboard. Then it became dark. We stopped, replaced the weak H1 bulbs with more effective H4 bulbs, and cooked coffee.

At 10 pm. in Lahti, I jumped onboard of Helsinki train, and Taito continued towards Kantele.

13th day, October 11, 2010 (6 h)

During the next four days we are going to set up the tent at Taito's yard in Kantele, start to furnish it, put the car and the tent together, and start to rehearse!

We arrived to Kantele at 5.30 pm. We put the tent stuff into Merc, and drove to the place. Tomorrow we will set it up. A quick image ran through my brain; two men setting up a wet and dirty tent on the premiere day at sleety Tehtaanpuisto.

After kids fell to sleep, and Taito's mother's computer support, we moved to Merc to write. Slightly after midnight, that is, on mine and Lempi's birthday, we could say, that the first draft of the script is ready. We made it!

14th day, October 12, 2010 (24 h)

Windy day. But setting up the tent seemed to be easier than the first time. And it looks good. Carried into the tent the rocking chairs, bookshelf, tv stand and few chairs. Then we needed to go to eat. Pasi of Kohiseva borrowed us a gas cooker. Tomorrow we'll cook Carelian granny's pancakes to Baltic Circle staff in the tent.

After lunch, Ilona and Lempi went to health center for the 1-year control. Taito, Helmi and I drove to Orimattila for gas cartridges, a batter bowl, a spatula, a whisk, a sugar dish, wax paper, wax cloth, oil lamp for atmosphere, wick, kerosene, coffee and three litres of red wine.

For Lempi's party, Taito made ordinary pancakes which vanished into hungry mouths. I learned to use the coffee station of the house.

Sat an hour in the car, writing this diary and other stories. Sun set. Now I go to watch Finland–Hungary on tv.

After the lousy game we turned the sauna on, and went to the tent to marvel at the oil lamp. It was raining light snow.

15th day, October 13, 2010 (24 h)

Morning exercise with Lempi. Then out to wonder. Cold day. We drove to Taito's studio to make a dvd and to search for scart adaptor. I made a video with six parts: Sea Journey, Subway Journey, Worm Journey, Leisure Journey, Car Journey and Journey to Paradise. (It should have ten journeys!) We didn't found the adaptor, but called BC Mikko, and he promised to bring one. From garage we took a tv, a Playstation, a foot lamp, a book about camper vans and a bar stool. The tv & co fit the tent like they had been born there!

Taito went for Helmi, and I stayed with sleeping Lempi. She didn't sleep long. Taito and Helmi came back, and Taito started to make sushi you are supposed to roll at the table by yourself. It has a Japanese name I don't remember. Rice cooked al dente and a lot. Tunamayo was too little.

We made the tent for our guests, whisking pancake batter, washing the coffee pot and cups. BC Eva, Karoliina, Mikko and Jukka arrived sharply at 4 pm. Mikko brought the scart adaptor and a tremendous, both looks and size, case that distributes signal from different sources into the tv. We made coffee, and Taito started to fry Carelian granny's

pancakes. Coffee was good and pancakes delicious. It's great, because nothing is happening there in the performance. The guest peeped in Merc, too, before they drove back to capital, thinking of rescue plan.

We finished the day with a run-through in Merc. Well, we had started it already after dinner around the table, but we moved to Merc when the situation got hot (and Ilona moved to watch Gray's anatomy on tv, and we lost our audience, so wtf). At first, we watched Juha's Estonian photos. Then we truly thought the performance through scene by scene, and the result was, that there is no room for guests. Of course, it's depending on guests. Whether they accept the room we offer, or not.

I saw the Merc's heating system working the first time!

16th day, October 14, 2010 (2 h)

In the morning, it rained, but the tent was dry inside. Like the car, too, + 10°C. We carried the old landlord's fridge from Taito's studio to another flat, and Taito & Ilona's fridge from porch to studio. Came to Helsinki with Ilona.

17th day, October 18, 2010 (2 h)

Went to Kantele with Ilona. There we were greeted by Taito, kids and cream cake. It was Ilona's birthday. We drank coffee and ate cake. After that, we went out with Taito. The end of the week's storm or an animal had knocked the tent down. We put it up. It didn't look so sad, when erected. Then it was dinner time.

Later we watched Casino Royale on tv. Taito was amazed, that Bond didn't look like Roger Moore at all. Something had happened.

18th day, October 19, 2010 (3 h)

Today was the first real rehearsal: we walked and talked through the show. It was cold in the tent, fingers got stiff. Windy day.

19th day, November 1, 2010 (10 h)

Taito picked me from Mäntsälä station in the morning. We drove to food and wine store. The next stop was woodsculptor Veikko Räsänen's house in Torppi village, Pukkila. We bought a bear which fit perfectly under Taito's arm. There it stood among fifty small and big bears, arms upwards, hey, take me!

At Taito's we took the bear into the tent and food into fridge. Then we went to Kohiseva to eat. After lunch we came to Taito's studio, that was amazingly clean after Sunday's recording session.

Taito called to Orimattila tyre shop, and ordered tyres for Merc. And to Eero, if he would like to participate in our show, where nothing happens, and play a song with Taito, for free. I called to Kristian, and he promised to act Santa in our premiere night. Now I'm a bit excited, whether we will have a Palsa Claus with axe in his hand.

20th day, November 2, 2010 (24 h)

In the morning we were brisk, had a run-through, that is, a pancake breakfast in the tent. During the run-through, we noticed lots of missing parts we try to fix in the near future.

After lunch we attached bookshelves to walls at Ilona's study. Couldn't attach doors, because hinges were missing. After bookshelf session we entered the tent again.

Now it was cold and dark. We skipped the pancakes and jumped straight to business. Some things tasted better than in the morning, some not. We had promised pancakes for supper to Helmi, so we

cooked some, and ate them with jam, blue cheese and sour cucumbers.

After the night's football match had ended, and others went to bed, I listened to mice rustling above the ceiling, and tried to write self-portrait as a subsidized artist.

21st day, November 3, 2010 (24 h)

It is raining. There are some puddles on the floor of the tent. Whisked pancake batter and wait for Taito. Taito takes kids to kindergarten, and reads emails.

Taito came and we went through the show. There was good spirit of happening in the air.

At 1 pm. we drove to the village, mailed a package of cd's and picked the kids. Then we searched for the keys of the Merc for an hour. Found them, and drove to Orimattila, where we bought wooden brush stick, batteries, stuff for constructing two lamps plus reversing lights and tyres for Merc.

It is raining. Should go to the tent to move the tv to the car and switch on the car's heating.

22nd day, November 4, 2010 (2 h)

Grey and wet day. Taito took kids to kindergarten, I walked to the tent. It was up, but like a grave, chilly, wet and dark. The Merc's doors were locked.

Taito came, and we started to talk the script through. The result was, that let's make a radio play, we have five days in Tehtaanpuisto, plenty of time. The work title is Ten Journeys to a Place where Nothing Happens, radio short stories.

23rd day, November 7, 2010 (4 h)

I hopped Ilona's car at Tikkurila station, and we drove to Kantele. There we were received by Helmi, who had invented a cardboard box that could separate things from each other, Lempi, who had shit in her pants and smile on her face, and Taito, who played guitar. We cooked and ate. Then I read to Helmi of Tsar's son and beautiful girl, who gave birth to three times three golden sons.

We went out to check the tent and get the lamp stuff from the car. The ground was frosty, and the tent's hems too. We wondered, whether the shiny star in the Southern sky was Jupiter.

24th day, November 8, 2010 (24 h)

Morning was beautiful, sun shined in the blue sky. It was cold in the tent. We arranged everything right in order, and ran through. We must do run-throughs in order to memorize things, and especially in order to learn to be.

Taito went for the kids, and I started to cook soup.

After Ilona came, and sun had set, we ran through again. It was cold in the tent, and running was a bit restless.

In the night, we went to sauna, and deep into weather forecast, which says that tomorrow we'll have snowstorm in Southern Finland, and next five days it'll rain continuously.

25th day, November 9, 2010 (24 h)

Waiting for the snow.

It didn't come, yet, and it's already dark. And windy. In the morning we drove to garage. Taito replaced Merc's reversing lights – now he doesn't have to do blind-reverse anymore. I built shelves into cupboard, and repaired a rocking chair. Neither of those stand close

examination. Then we drove to Kohiseva for lunch, and Pasi's hint arranged us a free trailer.

Back to the garage, where we put our wise heads together and thought, what we really need during those five days in Tehtaanpuisto. Momentarily I'm feeling alright.

Tonight I read to Helmi about the twelve brothers. It is a long fairytale, couldn’t finish it, maybe the next time.

26th day, November 12, 2010 (6 h)

Today I started my journey to a place where nothing happens from home. On my way I bought some marker pens and waited if I could get a long video cable from Ville before the train leaves. I couldn’t, although the train left lazily ten minutes late.

In Mäntsälä we went to Rautia to buy a mop, that would have cost five euros less in Robin Hood. In RH we bought a bucket for the mop plus some gas cartridges for the stove.

In Kantele we ate Ilona’s pasta. Then I finished the fairytale about the twelve brothers. For the happy end clever Ivan became the Czar.

Helmi fell asleep, and we commented on the BC contract and answered the mail about security issues.

It’s raining. It was wet and dark in the tent.

27th day, Nov 13, 2010 (24 h)

I woke up with the sound of pouring water, but the tent didn’t look so bad. I mopped five litres of water from the floor. Then we went for the trailer.

Before the run-through Taito cooked pancakes for fifty minutes, reaching alfa waves. It takes three minutes to make a pan of seven

pancakes. It takes an hour to make 140 pancakes. And there was still one liter of batter left. Three litre batter may be too much.

During the run-through it started to rain heavily. I plunged into slight depression. Taito stayed calm.

For the dinner we made carrot tsatsiki, guacamole, jacket potatoes, carelian stew and for the dessert we had one hundred pancakes and macaroni. After I had read a Carelian version of Cinderella to Helmi and Taito had gotten Lempi to sleep, we packed the trailer and Merc and put the tent with the floor to dry. It’s raining slightly.

28th day, Nov 14, 2010 (4 h)

We started the Fathers’ Day by turning over the tent that had dried nicely. A plan: with Taito & family to Porvoo, where I’ll take a bus to Helsinki.

At home I made the lay-out for the Vihko, Booklet in Finnish. It was a normal 1+1 game, and I think I survived.

29th day, Nov 15, 2010

In the morning I continued doing the lay-out for the Booklet in English. Then I went to printing house to copy. The ordinary A4 prints would have been good enough; copy machines are so clever that they can do a booklet by themselves. Anyway, my first try didn’t succeed. The second was ok. After a while I got tired with the tricky machine and I changed to a working one. After two hours I walked out with 80 Vihkos and 20 Booklets.

I was doing fine when I got hit: the five o’clock Linda Line was cancelled. I couldn’t make it to Kaja’s premiere.

30th day, Nov 16, 2010 (24 h)

After a bad night the morning was a relief. With my bags I hop into the full 58, where a small girl sitting in the feet of her mother and brother keeps repeating a mantra in crying voice. I hear words äiti ‘mother’ and päälle ‘onto’. Between those there are three other, strange words. At the Pasila station I change into a train that is also full but quiet.

Taito had already collected the gas bottles. So we drove for food and wine – ingredients for soup and pancakes, red and glühwein. Then we packed the tent.

After the lunch we played a bit with the kids. It was still light when we continued packing. Now it’s dinner-time and dark but the Merc and trailer are ready for tomorrow. A plan for the evening includes sauna, yippii! We swam too, becoming inured for cold!

31st day, Nov 17, 2010 (24 h)

The morning of the premiere was a bit grim. Getting out makes me feel better. The sunrise, even without the sun, brightening, is beautiful. I’m sitting in the car, waiting for Taito.

We leave Kantele at 8.10. On the way we got some rubber bands from Taito’s studio and liquorice from Siwa. Arrival to Helsinki at 9.45.

Mikko, Janne, Anton and Comedian were waiting for us. We set up the tent and stayed waiting for the benches, radiators and other stuff. Meanwhile we had coffee with Anton and Comedian. The car came and we fixed the tent. It’s warm inside, although the wind is much colder than in Kantele.

The time ran. Hyde came to fix the BC banderolle and Sanyi for his cigarettes. I cooked sauerkraut soup that we ate with good appetite with Taito. Taito made the pancake batter and began to fry them. Kristian came. And the first real spectators. I made coffee in the car and came to the tent only ten minutes before the beginning. The

majority of the audience were already there. Twenty people, one third foreigners.

The start was hasty but then we settled down. We must tune up the start for non-start, that we just slide into the performance, that we don’t sign it. In the very beginning two boys came in to check the tent and we gave them pancakes. Seeing the audience made them ran away.

Afterwards we felt good, peaceful. Subsidized art.

We cleaned the place and now we’re sitting in the car, in the middle of the premiere party, the two of us, I’m writing this and Taito is surfing in the Internet.

32nd day, Nov 18, 2010 (24 h)

We woke up at 7.30. The tent looked miserable through the car’s window; it was kneeling down under the sleet. What the heck! Up to beat the tent’s roof! The sleet came down. We tightened the ropes and the tent was upright again.

I went to shop for sour milk, milk, oil, liquorice, bread and buns. When I came back, Eva was there. We had coffee with buns.

At 1 o’clock Taito went to Myyrmäki to take care of the kids. I stayed taking care of the car and the tent. I spent the afternoon lying down on the sofa, watching water freezing on the skylight window and listening to Keith Jarrett.

Ten people came to the show. It was more relaxed than the premiere. We must trust the peace. To be. Alessandro shot pictures of himself and the others. Sauli was Santa, who was rewarded with a Golden Shower.

33rd day, Nov 19, 2010 (24 h)

I am a traitor. I woke up in my own bed with my loved one. Still, I got out early. On the way I copied more Booklets. I arrived to the tent at 10.30.

For lunch we had penne pesto, sauerkraut and red wine. For dessert Hyde’s poetry. Girilal came for the 5 o’clock coffee. We talked about computers. Nothing is enough.

The show was ok. I am a squirrel. Too much of jumping causes holes into the performance. Taito is stable. Some twenty people, one half of them foreign producers, the other ordinary people. Positive bunch. Hyde was the Santa.

Peace, peace, man.

We talked with Kaja for a moment, then we cleaned the tent, then came Pietu and we boozed and played Mastermind til 2.30 in the night.

34th day, Nov 20, 2010 (24 h)

We woke up at 9. Got up at 10. The tent was white but dry. Now I’m waiting for Taito with breakfast croissant. The coffee is ready. The croissant were dry. The coffee was good.

It’s raining sleet. I went for oil, flour, eggs, sour milk and milk, that is to say, our normal daily portion. When I was away shopping, Abdi’s big brother had visited the car, asking Taito, why the car looks so small outside but is so big inside and which model our Playstation is and what games we have.

For lunch we had pizza. A family size for Taito: bacon, salami, fried egg, pineapple and garlic. A normal size for me: feta, sun-dried tomatoes, jalopeno slices and garlic. Since we drank all the wine in the night, we drank now Dr. Pepper, maybe the best lemonade in the world. For dessert we watched The Inglorious Bastards.

At five we got visitors, Eero and Anna. Taito made strong coffee. We had blueberry pie too. When Pär came to pay the cds he had bought from Taito in Thursday night, the pie was finished. Then came Taisto, who didn’t want to have coffee but tickets for tomorrow’s show. Now Taito and Eero are playing in the tent and I’m sitting in the car making coffee.

It was a good show. Taito had felt restless because he had to play with Eero and we had permitted Eero to jump here and there during the show, shooting pictures. There were more than twenty people there. We had some pancakes and one thermos of coffee left. Nobody wanted tea. Kaja knitted three socks during the performance, which we gave to three ladies. Henriikka was the Santa.

In the night we were let to the club while Israeli volunteers came to watch the car. Taito went to shower and talked with Allu for two hours. I sat on sofa with Kaja and received people. It was great.

We came to sleep at three. Kaja slept with us. It was great too.

35th day, Nov 21, 2010 (24 h)

We woke up at ten. Had breakfast. I walked with Kaja to tram. We fixed the tent. Washed the dishes. Wrote the technical rider. Thomas came at two. We had coffee and chat. Taito’s student Anssi came at three and they had a singing lesson in the tent. Now I start to cook pasta. Girilal and Pekko came just in time to eat. Tero sms’ed that he can’t make the show because Karolina’s mother is visiting them.

I wrote the rider to my notebook for the night.

Heikki came. We went through the Santa’s tasks. Made coffee and batter. Taito started to fry pancakes. People started to come. Once again there was a queue in the front of the tent. Finally three people ended sitting on the floor but the atmosphere was warm, we were together. There were only two foreigners, so we did most of it in Finnish.

The three quarters äijä sang a beautiful song. Heikki was a loud Santa who made the people sing. They didn’t want to leave.

We took the tent down and to dry to the Half-Q theatre. Girilal called that the Merc is out of electricity and it won’t start. I drove back to the park and we gave the Merc some electricity, so the äijä could continue their way.

During the five days we used c. 16 kW x 80 h + 6 kw x 40 h = 1280 kWh + 240 kWh = 1520 kWh of electricity.

36th day, Nov 26, 2010

I took the tent back to Tuija. I was ashamed because we had forgotten to invite Tuija to the show.

37th day, Nov 30, 2010

Taito had counted his costs, although he said that he hadn’t found all the checks. I counted our costs together and wrote an invoice to the BC. The best part of the work!

38th day, December 12, 2010

I wrote to the BC Karoliina the following message:

Dear Karoliina,

sorry that it has taken some time, I’ve been waiting for Taito’s reaction that never came. On my part I can declare the burkha impro like this:

The title of the work: After midnight massage Composer: Juha Valkeapää

Performance mode: EV

Duration: 5 min

Could you fill the form and send it forward, please? Have a nice Christmas!


39th day, January 26, 2011

Hey, we are asked for a gig! Taisto to Kajaani Poetry Week and Tilmann to Munich Spielart!

In Taisto case we should meet the producer and talked about it, really. Taisto had mentioned us in the press conference. The local newspaper said that we are in with a piece called Ten Stories of a Place that Doesn’t Exist.

Tilmann wrote us an email yesterday. I answered that we like to come with the Merc to Munich. An airplane version feels weak. Now we are waiting for the answers.

40th day, February 11, 2011

Oi, they want us to Riga and Oldenburg too. Thomas from PAZZ Festival Oldenburg is asking, if we could come to check the place and the staff in the beginning of April. I forwarded the message to Taito. I

think we talked in the phone too, and he promised to call the next day. Nothing happens. Thomas writes again. Today I answered apologising that we hadn’t answered and that this is not an answer either. I would like to spend that weekend between two three-week-long journeys with my sons and I haven’t heard Taito’s opinion.

41st day, Feb 17, 2011

We had a Skype call today with Taito. He’s not getting money from anywhere at the moment. If the Vaasa gig comes true it demands a lot of work and it is in Vaasa. The car won’t start. Selfishly, I think only our gigs and nothing else; I don’t radiate any empathy towards Taito.

In the evening I read Douglas Kahn’s history of sound in the arts. He’s talking a lot of John Cage ja the Cagean silence. In the 40’s Cage was reading Jung: ”We are always surprised by the fact that something comes out of what we call ‘nothing’.”

And Kahn lets Jung to continue:

One must be able to let things happen. I have learned from the East what it means by the phrase ”Wu wei”: namely, not-doing, letting be, which is quite different from doing nothing. Some Occidentals, also, have known what this not-doing means; for instance, Meister Eckhart, who speaks of ”sich-lassen,” to let oneself be.


42nd day, March 7, 2011

In the phone today: Taito was driving home from Kuhmo, such a day trip of thousand kilometres. The result of the call: Let’s drive in a broad way and see what we get and what we can do really.

We wrote to PAZZ Thomas that yes, we can come, arrival in the Friday morning, back in the Sunday morning. We wrote that two weeks ago.

Nothing has happened. It seems that Thomas comes from a place where nothing happens.

On Friday we got message from Vienna, brut Thomas. Invitation for January-February. I’ve never visited Austria for a gig. Could I go now?

43rd day, March 14, 2011

In the end of the week I sent three mails to Taito: Rigans want to reaffirm the dates. We should reserve flights to Oldenburg. We should answer brut Tomas. On Friday we Skyped. Taito was thome with a sick child but he promised to check the mails on Saturday. It’s Monday and nothing has happened.

44th day, March 17, 2011

I’ve been working with an Estonian choreographer for eight days in Essen. Every day we have talked from ten til six. We have talked 64 hours in eight days. What has happened? I feel dizzy.

This morning we Skyped with Taito. The kids were in the kindergarten. We talked about the Kajaani gig and appointed two days in the beginning of June for fixing up the Merc. Talked about Riga but it was left in the air. Talked about Vienna and I wrote a mail to Thomas. Agreed upon the details of the Oldenburg trip and in the afternoon the tickets arrived to my inbox. Sometimes quite a many things fit into twenty minutes.

45th day, April 1, 2011

We arrived to Oldenburg after six hours of travelling. First we were told not to call to the festival director because he had lost his phone. The sun is trying to make its way through the clouds.

We went to the theatre at 2.30 pm. We were asked apologies, because there wouldn’t be any ruun-through there, but in the evening we should come to the show. Another young man told us to go to movies, Wim Wenders’ Pina would start in the neighbour in 45 minutes. We walked to the neigbour and bought the tickets. Then we sat outside for half an hour. Shot a few pictures, smoked cigarettes and watched people.

In the evening we saw The Best Sex I’ve Ever Had. In the performance ten 66–80 year old people told us the best sex experience they ever had in their lives. 80-year old Dorothy’s best experience was with a vibrator a year ago. Our host was 15-year old Thomas, who claimed to be a virgin.

46th day, April 2, 2011

In the morning at the hotel’s breakfast table we criticized the Reality Reserch Center. In the neighbouring table there was Pekko from the Reality Reserch Center, talking with the festival director. We didn’t know Pekko. After shaking hands with him we said that we had been talking about the Reality Reserch Center. He changed to our table.

At 11 o’clock there was Breakfast in our program. We mingled from one table to another and talked with many people. Then we started to look after the place for our tent. As the first option we chose a parking lot 50 metres away from the festival center. They will build a container village to the yard of the center. The other option is a sheltered spot behind the container village.

In the afternoon we touristed. After a long pondering Taito bought a Teddybear for his three women. His name was George and it said Made in Germany in his ear. In the early evening we sat three of us, Taito, George and I, in the warm Schlossgarten for a couple of hours, doing nothing. The time stopped.

47th day, April 17, 2011

I watched in the mirror in the morning and saw a middle-aged bourgeois. Later in the night there was the big bang. Now we are waiting what will happen.

In the same night, already on Monday, Taito had sent a picture of him on the sofa of the Merc, on a spring drive from Kantele to Seinäjoki.

48th day, May 1, 2011

Laura from Homo Novus wrote us three months ago, inviting us to Riga in September. Two days ago, on Friday, Taito said, yes, let’s go! On Friday they had confirmed his job as a postgraduate assistant at the Folk music department. Today I sketched the schedule of our Munich journey in November for him. Let’s see.

49th day, May 20, 2011

I edited the video clips I had shot during the winter to the place where nothing happens. It seems that there are two criterions there and one of them should be there in the clip; either the clip must show a real journey to a place where nothing happens or it must be full of suspense thar soon something will happen. Well, I don’t know, I think that a beautiful image always buys its spot anywhere.

50th day, June 1, 2011

Today we’re going to organize our stuff for the Kajaani gig. I took a morning bus to Porvoo, where I got a drive with Jarmo to Kantele. Now I’m waiting that Taito would finish his Skype meeting concerning another project.

The meeting went on and on, so I went to garage in the cellar to check the stuff. The white rocking chair had experienced hard times. The

plastic box, that contained the dirty coffee cups and the frying pan, had not been opened since the last BC show in November. I washed the dishes. Taito came down and remembered that the coffee jug probably had the remains of the old coffee in it. Yes it had indeed.

We moved the stuff with the Hiace to the Merc. We packed the Merc and glued the white rocking chair. We shall see in the performance if it works. We changed the Merc’s side mirror but couldn’t prepare the honk. Taito must remember to get the Santa’s clothes from the neighbour. We’ll meet in Kajaani then, we shouted for goodbye, and I stepped into Ilona’s car to Helsinki.

51st day, July 7, 2011

In the morning I took a taxi to Pasila Station, where I hopped on board of the Kajaani train. With a wide smile on his face, the conductor told me that the radio in the arm of the seat hadn’t been working for a long time, because people have their own gadgets. I’ve got a bag full of gadgets, but I can’t listen to radio with those.

I must re-write the ”Self-portrait as a subsidized artist”, because I’m not a one at the moment nor in the near future; a letter from the National council for theatre waited for me when I came home last night. ”OTHER” was written on the right upper corner of my application.

Taito called at 10 am. from Kostamus, saying that he’d arrive to Kajaani in the afternoon. I arrived to the tent at 3 pm. It was a high teepee next to the statue of Pietari Brahe, who founded Kajaani in 1651. Taito called at 6 pm, saying that he was fifty kilometers away from Kajaani and that I should get myself a pizza. I did so.

Taito came at 7 pm. Sweating and exhausted but joyful. We wondered at the tent. Went to shop for a snack for evening and morning. Organized the tent. It looks good. Now we are thinking, whether we should go to swim.

52nd day, July 8, 2011, 6th performance

We woke up in the car at 9 am, it was good to sleep in there. Coffee and local bread.

I went to shop for pancake ingredients, a sheet and a hair brush for Taito. The Vietnamese came around noon from Sommelo, with the Nieminen couple. We agreed on the details of the performance: at first rune-singing and then a trio would play a medley starting from a melancholic pipe and ending to joyful bamboo tubes via a zucchini pipe. The Northern Vietnamese rune-singer was a singer of the seventh generation and currently he was teaching his skills to his son. Today Taito’s mother was transferred to a closed unit for dementia patents.

The performance was ok. The tent was bright and there were some 30 spectators. The hot afternoon ate the biggest appetite for coffee and pancakes. We didn’t hurry but we could go slowly, taking our time. After the performance people visited the Merc.

Then we were felt lazy and sticky. Cleaned a bit, washed up the dishes and went to swim. Afterwards we went to eat and now we are watching Bella Block. It is warm in the car, the air doesn’t move.

53rd day, July 9, 2011, 7th performance

Taito fell asleep after the midnight, I watched the movie til the end. I woke up after 6 am. Taito was sleeping. Then I heard that somebody tried to open the car’s door, it was 9 am and the Vietnamese were outside preparing their instrument for the concert. Up and out! Somebody had slept in the tent; he or she had made a bed on the grass with sheep pelts. But the visitor had been tidy, nothing was broken and the zipper of the door was closed. Morning coffee.

The Vietnamese performed in the tent at noon and then sold their intsruments before leaving for home. I got a long pipe as a present and Taito got a rhytm tube, the both of bamboo.

Learned from the heat of the yesterday we added water to our menu. But pancakes was fried as usual. The most common vehicle of the day was emergengy vehicle which was seen in the neighbourhood dozens of times.

We had only 15 people but the performance was more peaceful. We talked with the audience more. I guess, abroad this won’t happen as easily. After the performance people visited the Merc and bought Taito’s records.

The staff was waiting for taking down of the tent eagerly. We won some time shouting ”Have some pancakes!”, and those vanished into hungry mouths in a second. For two liters of liquid, we need four teaspoons of soda flour.

We threw our stuff outside of the tent by the car, and the tnet was taken down quickly. The Merc and props made a beautiful couple, and the police came to check, if we were Irish tinkers. No way but the car had to be emptied, so that Taito could attach some kind of seat belts for girls’ safety seats and we could pack the car effectively. We were so effective that Taito’s sleeping bag was left inside of the back seat, under the book shelf. It would have been needed later in the night.

We left for Timola, where Taito’s daughters were visiting their cousins. On our way there we went to Taito’s mom’s apartment in Kuopio to empty her fridge. We arrived to Timola at 11 pm. Sauna and bed.

54th day, July 10, 2011

Taito woke up at 7 am and drove 70 km back to Kuopio to say hello to his mom in the hospital. I woke up at 10 am, swam in the lake and walked to the house for a breakfast. Taito came back only half an hour late of the schedule, we packed girls and girls’ stuff into the car and headed to south.

On the way a thunderstorm brought a small chaos into the back of the car but otherwise we drove fluently. Taito was tired. We emptied the car’s toilet in Kuortti. Smelly job.

I dropped out in Lahti and took a train to Helsinki. Taito and the girls continued to Kantele.

55th day, August 4, 2011

Today I took a bus to Masala, where I bought a cheap Explorer guitar from Robert.

56th day, August 7, 2011

I answered as well as I could, without Taito’s comment, two emails from Munich and one from Riga.

57th day, August 12, 2011

I borrowed Kalle’s car and drove to Kantele in the morning. I took along a futon mattress, a guitar, an amplifier and the Lokaal sign in order to be carried to Tallinn while on our way to Riga.

We cleaned the car, carried the television and the rocking chairs into Taito’s barn and dropped the LA radio antenna down. Then we measured the car: lenght 6,30 m, width 2,40 m and height 2,50 m.

After lunch we updated our needs-list and talked about the plans for Munich. We agreed that we’ll leave for Riga together from Kantele on Monday morning, 5th of September.

58th day, September 4, 2011

16.46 train to Mäntsälä. I waited for Taito at the station for 20 minutes. He came with Helmi. We drove to get the Merc from Rane. Rane lives in the countryside. A cow fence cut the road twice, but Taito’s up-dated gps said firmly that we’re on the right track. Finally we saw the Merc’s familiar looks on the side of the road.

Rane had fixed the car but when we came for it, the right rear lamp didn’t work. Taito shook the fuse a bit and it lit up. Then the men started to ponder upon the twin tanks. Their capacity should be 100 litres but usually Taito tanks 30–40 litres and they seems to be full. We drove to Pukkila gas station with three vans: Rane & Transit, Taito & Merc, Helmi & me & Taito’s Hiace. In fifteen minutes we managed to put there 50 litres; something began to happen! Some diesel to Hiace too. We drove to Kantele.

Taito had saved some pasta also for me. He warmed my portion in the microwave and grated on it some parmesan. I ate pasta and salad. Then I played a round with Helmi, and finally Ilona took her to sleep. Now Taito is editing some rehearsal music for the Vaasa theatre for the next week when he’ll be away.

Before bedtime we collected the last things into the car: chainsaw, break liquid, motor oil, gas balloon, radiator, guitar belt, cable and stand. In the morning we’ll check oil and cooler liquid before we hit the road towards Helsinki harbour. Good night.

59th day, September 5, 2011

In the morning we found out that nasty sulphur smell came from the can of waste water. We cleaned it and the smell disappeared. Fresh again!

We hit the road at 8.15. According to the navigator we’d arrive to the harbour at 9.40, ten minutes late. Oops. We arrived there at 9.40. We were not late at all.

In Tallinn we took my stuff to Pelgulinn ja drove forward. GPS guided us to Pärnu highway through Nõmme via a tiny Kadaka boulevard. We tanked fuel some ten kilometres before the border. Some ten kilometres after the border we stopped to swim. The warm sun and tender wind.

After swimming we began to fix the fridge, which didn’t want to switch on. Suddenly the car was full of flies. We repaired the fridge for one and half hours before it switched on. There were one hundred flies and two half-naked, sweating men in the car. Yippii! Into the sea!

We came to Riga at eight. Parked the car and took our stuff to the hotel. I opened the door of my room but there was somebody there. Back downstairs to the reception where I came across to Eva. Back upstairs to my new room and back down again. With Taito and Eva to theatre to watch Lone Twin’s Nine Years. Charming soul brothers with better English.

After the performance we went to eat to the club. Luckily Eva was with us because we hadn’t any Lats. Is it really so that curators mingle with curators and artists with artists? Maybe it’s only so that people who know each other talk with each other. In any case we have both a

musician and a Santa Claus for Wednesday. Let’s see if they show up or not.

60th day, September 6, 2011

Today was a day-off. The whole festival bunch drove to the seaside, Lapmezciems. The others with a big bus, and us with the Merc. We waited for the start of the big bus for half an hour, and then we tried to follow it. On highway we felt that the bus driver didn’t like us, the bus went at least 90 km/h, our max speed is 85 km/h. But we found the place. It was a marvellous spot: food, a floating sauna, the sea and volleyball. Our team won. After the group photo we drove back to the city, this time we followed a green Volga. By a Hyper-Rimi we waved good-bye to the Volga and went to the shop: various Latvian beers, a Georgian Tarhun lemonade, four litres of kefir, organic milk, vegetable oil, coffee, wheat flour, eggs, cherry jam, light and dark bread, sugar, butter, a Spanish sausage, a tin of sardines, cheese, Hungarian paprika, a whip to kill flies, Taito’s presents to home (Russian aquarelles, brushes, two sketchbooks, Chuppa-Choops, a mug), Juha’s presents to home (a bottle of Georgian peach and grape lemonade).

We parked the car and walked to the club, where we came just in time to have a slice of pizza and beer. Afterwards we mingled.

61st day, September 7, 2011

After breakfast I walked around two block, shooting stencils. We drove to the park at ten. The tent was set up, on stones in front of the statue of a great poet. Men covered the floor with grey carpet and voilá we had a great tent! Soon it was noon, we put our stuff into the tent and went to the club to discuss story-telling in contemporary theatre with the people from the Forced Entertainment and The Lone

Twin Theatre. Then we ate lunch before returning to the tent. At five o’clock we made coffee and sandwiches for ourselves and Gary, the warden. I brought my sleeping bag from the hotel and lied down on the bed for a moment. In the car Taito hadn’t succeeded with the EyeTV. It has been raining for a few hours now. My head is aching.

The First Riga Experience, that is to say, the 8th performance was heavy. There were too much people, about sixty of them. We learned that people should have space to calm down and they should see us. (Should we have chairs or benches?) They should hear us. The distance between us and the audience can’t be too long. We can’t let people come and go during the performance. We must ask organizer’s people to take care of the doors. But somehow we, Taito & Juha, succeeded. We didn’t start to push, we could keep our feet on the ground, doing our own job, walking our own path.

During the performance it stopped raining. But it was hot in the tent, we were in t-shirts. I went out to saw in t-shirt. My amplifier didn’t work after all, so I used Taito’s ukulele instead of the electric guitar. As a musician guest we got Jekubs and Martinsh was a Santa who made people to recite poetry; first we heard Latvian Rainis, whose statue was next to our tent, then a Japanese Haiku and last but not least some American poetry that was beautiful. People ate never before so much pancakes, which were delicious. And four litres of coffee. We didn’t play Mastermind.

62nd day, September 8, 2011

After the performance we went to the club. Ate and had a couple of drinks. Came to sleep half past two. The night was quiet; the security guy stayed in the tent, he said that he slept one hour. In the morning I woke up at 7. Now it’s 9 and Taito’s still snoring beside me. It’s gray outside bit it’s not raining. In our car it’s quiet although there are

noises entering from the outside all the time. People, solitary people, are going to work, school, where ever they must go. We must wash the dishes and re-organise the tent in order to avoid yesterday’s rush.

The day went by in a relaxed way, there was lots to do; washing the dishes, re-organising the tent sideways, preparing the Santa’s presents, making the dough, cooking coffee. Carmen said that she has passed by our tent during the day but we had been busy, not inviting.

People started to come at four but we were ready. Coffee was made and Taito began to fry pancakes. The first people to come were three Norwegians, who said ”It feels good!” in clear Finnish. And other words too! The 9th performance was more peaceful than the previous one, we succeeded in creating relaxed, homey atmosphere. There was just good amount of people, 45. Taito’s first song made me cry. My amp’s batteries are dead, so we put it under the bookshelf, with a cable. We heard the highest bid ever in the auction, 4,80 €. I asked Tilmann to be the Santa just before the show started. He completed the task doing nothing. Only nodded when I asked whether he would like to have a sip of whisky. In the end Taito talked about his aching back and sauna on the seaside and Juha’s massage that took the pain away and volleyball that broke a bone in his elbow. Great. We didn’t play Mastermind today either.

Afterwards we washed the dishes and packed the car. Went to the hotel to have shower and then to the club to eat and drink. Hans’ installation was scary, nice piece of binaural audio. Carmen proposed us to come to Dresden in April. Let’s see if that happens.

63rd day, September 9, 2011

We woke up at 8, had a breakfast and hit the road at 9. To north. We arrived to Tallinn at half past four. I hopped into a Narva bus and Taito drove to harbour.

64th day, October 14, 2011

I called to Fazer to ask liquorice sponsorship. Right away in the beginning of the call it was clear that they wouldn’t give us liquorice, because only Finns and Englishmen eat it. Anyway, the marketing person wanted to know more about our performance and asked if she could see it in Finland; it sounds funny and interesting. And I’ve got so nice voice.

65th day, November 10, 2011

A day of preparations for Munich: In the morning my bike was white, frosty. Two kilometres to Malmi station. At 7:43 a K train to Tikkurila, where I changed onto a Z train, and arrived to Mäntsälä at 8:20. Taito came as promised at 8:40. We drove to bakery for coffee. We started shopping in K-rauta hardware store, where we filled three gas cartridges, one for the car, two for T & Ilona’s kitchen. The next goal was car spare part store, where we bought battery charger, 20 litres of motor oil and a bolt pistol. The third shop was Robin Hood for kettle, ladle, moisture eraser and two water canisters. In Pukkila we went to Pasi’s to eat. Pasi promised to buy us 1000 liquorice bars from wholesale. After lunch we bought ten packets of great Finnish coffee from Siwa.

At Taito’s we cleaned the Merc, changed waters, emptied the toilet, loaded the moisture eraser onto the window sill and wrote a to-do list for Taito. The Merc got rolling easily. We drove to Pukkila to tank. Back in Kantele we started to boot Taito’s Lada, that was supposed to move to Maija & Rane’s barn for winter. It succeeded after heavy try,

but as soon as M & R appeared the motor went out. We started to ponder on the failure. It didn’t give spark. Finally me & Taito had to leave while M & R stayed by the Lada. We changed Merc for Hiace and headed for Mäntsälä. On the road we saw that M & R had succeeded in starting the Lada, yippii! Taito dropped me to Mäntsälä station at 15:30.

66th day, November 15, 2011

Taito picked me at Suvilahti bus stop at 15:15. We drove to Katajanokka where Taito sold a recording device to an other sound designer. Then to Hakaniemi to Nordea Bank because the codes of the company account were lost and he wanted to transfer the money he just got from the company account to his personal one, so that he could handle it. Taito was not let into the bank because overtime ban was on and queue was 40 minutes long. Taito called to Kuhmo’s Nordea, where his account actually is, and managed to order new codes and transfer the money.

We drove to Vuosaari port and got into the ferry in no time. It was half past five. We made the cabin 7045 our home, read the programme of the journey and went to sauna. We sat in bubble bath for half an hour. The ferry took to the sea.

The best part of the dinner was smetana caviar, ice cream and sheep milk cheese. As dessert we drank a couple of single malts in Bar Navigare. Back in the cabin we watched television.

The tv made us thirsty and we went back to the bar. There we met two entrepreneurs from Tampere who were happy to get company. Liquorice vodka in hand we moved to a table to chat. They were on their way to Poland to search for a business associate for a great product you can’t get in Finland. Yet. It was classified. They were in good mood. The one wanted to sing all the time, he had played clarinette in his youth although he would have wanted to play sax, the other thought that Poland was a paradise with its women, beer and

traffic culture. When an eight-pack of vodka sprite appeared onto the table, I started to think how to disappear smoothly and politely. I admit that it was a cowardly thought but I don’t like lemonade.

67th day, November 16, 2011

Alarm clock rang at 8. After breakfast we lied down in the cabin, talking this and that. Wrote the Phone journey. Before lunch we strolled a bit on deck. After lunch we bought Todd Solondz movie Storytelling in the shop and watched it. We didn’t quite get what the director wanted to tell us with his movie. Mixed feelings. Now we arrived to Gdynia. It’s four o’clock in Finnish time. The sun is shining.

Taito proposed that we should make a website. Yes, let’s do it. Before six we went to sauna in order to be there when the ferry leaves the port - just like yesterday. Long live traditions! The sauna was uncomfortably too hot but bubble bath was ok. And we didn’t have to be there alone, we were accompanied by two guys from Tampere, different ones than yesterday. They were heading towards Italy to fix a drill they had sold there and teach the locals to use it. They should drive 1200 km tomorrow but their car was 34 years fresher than ours.

The dinner was excellent. Cold dishes included green, tomato-mozzarella, two joghurt and paprika-zuccini-shrimp salads, raddishes, marinated garlics, pesto mussles, smetana caviari, chorizo and smoked ham. Hot dishes included cream potatoes, steamed broccoli and carfiol, fried salmon, beef and red deer. As dessert we had vanilla ice cream and fruit, apple pie, berry cake, moccamousse, cheese and grapes and coffee. In bar we crowned the list with armagnag and unfiltered weissbier. Taito profited from Joker-Poker. In our cabin we continued working with the website.

68th day, November 17, 2011

Wake up at 7am, Finnish time. At breakfast table Taito wonders, how Merc would deal with autobahn. I don’t know, well, I guess. We can see the lights of Rostock. I feel excitement in my belly.

We left Rostock at 7:40. Arrived to Munich at 20:30. Our average speed was 60 km/h. We bought diesel four times, altogether 105 litres. The tank was full at start and it’s quite full at the moment too. Fourty km before Munich we made new speed record with free gear on downhill, 93 km/h.

In München we were waited by five men and a handsome tent. It was located at the backyard of Gasteig Cultural Center. A sheltered spot. We wondered on it for a moment, and then Andrea took us to the hotel. The car’s fridge may wait until tomorrow.

69th day, November 18, 2011, tenth performance, the German premiere

We woke up at 8. Our guide Max walked with us to the tent at 9. We were there before the festival technicians. We fixed the tent. It looks and feels great. Three kW heaters are incredibly effective, it was warm inside of the tent, which was a source for constant wonder for Peter, boss of technicians. A homely place. Then Max showed us our room in Gasteig. Kitchen and dish-washing place have never been as close. Yippii! After that Max took us to Muffathalle where the festival office is located. There we drank coffee and talked about translating. From Muffathalle we continued to Hit food store, where we bought pancake ingredients and coffee milk and ravioli, mandarines, salad, basil, Bavarian bread, goat cheese, olive oil, butter, coffee and sausage.

In the car we cooked ravioli and ate. Then we lied down for a moment. Then we started to put the performance up: tuned the guitar and video camera, made the batter. Taito succeeded in filling the tank of the chain saw with chain oil. Lots of stuff happen before a show where nothing is supposed to happen.

People came accurately at nine. Full tent. Almost all of them wanted pancakes and coffee. Taito sang a sad and a merry song. We watched the Subway Journey. I asked people, whether they wanted to hear the first story in Finnish or English. Finnish won. Taito went out and yelled that two friends were outside and they wanted to have pancakes. Ok. As free story I told about the fat business man we met in the ferry and who wanted to sing and play sax. The München log was tighter stuff than the Finnish one. Bear made people laugh, and anyway they were laughing easily. Waiting for my moose felt short. More pancakes and reading diary in English. Burkha rocked! The cassette was sold with five euros. And Walter was a great Santa for whom audience sang like small children. The performance melted away. The flowers we got made people applaud a bit and they didn’t want to leave.

At club there was food and heavy noise. We chatted and drank a couple of beers. At three we found our beds via a short detour; my mobile’s navigator was totally lost.

70th day, November 19, 2011, performance n:r 11

We woke up at ten. Came to the tent at eleven. Cleaned the place and washed the dishes. On our way to the food store I bought pants at a skateboard shop because I forgot my jeans at home. At Hit we bought pancake ingredients and vegetables, cheese, bread, fruit, milk, beer, pasta and nut pesto.

In the car I chopped vegetables for the soup. Taito made 200 sticks to stir sugar. Max came, and we left for a music store, where Taito bought valve oil for tuba and I bought string cleaner for my guitar. We bought an other batter bucket for the days of two performances.

After we had returned to the tent, Taito went there to sing, oil tuba and play it. I cooked soup, prepared the liquorice etc. We ate. My friend Juha called from Vesanto and reminded me that he would be there when the ice would melt away and I’d be welcomed to listen to the

birds’ singing. Hyde called and invited to Baltic Circle party in Helsinki. I said that I couldn’t make it. We lied down for a moment.

The performance started only at ten pm but day had been a quick one. Taito started to fry pancakes, coffee and hot water were ready. It was a full house, people drank coffee and ate pancakes like yesterday. The performance began with a joke. A man from the audience asked, which was Taito and which was Juha. Taito said that he was Taito and I said that I was Juha. Taito went on that ‘taito’ means skill and ‘juha’ means nothing. The starting laughter. The show went on with less laughter than day before but there were some warm faces. It was colder in the tent and we were more tired but it was not a bad journey. Burkha cassette cost 3,50. Two criticians sat in the back row. People visited the Merc. I sold three albums for Taito.

We came to the club only after midnight. Food, red wine, beer, chat. On our way home I stepped on a dog poop.

71st day, November 20, 2011, performances n:r 12 and 13

I woke up at 8. What a sunshine. Couldn’t sleep anymore, so I got up and did some yoga. Peter called if we wanted to join him and his daughter for a concert of a beautiful Russian pianist. They had two free seats in the car. I said, sorry, we’ve got something else to do.

We came to the tent after 11. Cleaned and washed the dishes. The other Peter came with his girlfriend to check Taito’s record case. They bought Jouhiorkesteri’s cd. Something to do: Santa’s liquorice, cassettes, pergamine, video camera, two pancake batters and coffee & water for tea. We ate. Now I’m writing this and waiting for to lie down.

A remark: the greatest and most important thing in our performance is to create a community. If we succeed in that, it doesn’t matter whether we speak Finnish or English. Actually it doesn’t matter what we do. Well, naturally the birth of the community depends on our deeds. Today’s first performance was peaceful. Peter came with his daughters

who took it in a nice manner. Thirty people. Peter played harmonica, and Max acted as Santa for a second time. People sang Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht for him. Fabulous. For the second performance we had a bit less than thirty people. Something clicked. They were asking us questions, had courage to talk. Laura began by asking if the names of Taito’s daughters meant anything. Then an unknown young man asked, how we like Munich. We were at ours. I propose that they would sing the same song for Max the Santa and it sounded great again. Brave people! As a guest musician we had Andrea’s friend Julia with her cajon. The performance has found its melting points; it fades in and out, without applause. People don’t want to leave but they stay talking and enjoying the atmosphere we created all together.

72nd day, November 21, 2011, performance n:r 14

We woke up at 9. Came to the tent at ten. Cleaned and washed the dishes. Then we went to sauna. Volksbad is located by Isar, next to Muffathalle. It has been built more than hundred years ago. We paid and got sheets. It was a mixed day. Old men stepped naked, proud, a folded towel on arm. We followed their example. Women were more clad. Well, there were not so many people. First we went to Dampfraum, steam room. It was good. Then we floated in the central pool. Finnish sauna. Stepping into hot room we realised why you should were slippers there. The room was heated with floor heating and we almost burned our feet. Beside the cold pool there was a circle-shaped cold shower, like a torture instrument. There were also two bigger pools in the building. And room for rest. And we could have gone outside too, to the inner yard. Next time we are more experienced.

From sauna to festival office to set up our website. First we read about Putin’s performance in wrestling ring. World belongs to arrogant manipulators. We converted the video file. But Taito’s ftp program won’t allow a connection from abroad. Email to his operator. A miracle happens and soon our site is there in the internet: tenjourneys.aania.fi. Back to the tent. We cooked noodles with nut

pesto. After meal we lie down for a moment. Then Taito made the pancake batter and I started boiling water for coffee & tea.

Audience of twenty people. Reserved feeling. They didn’t drink coffee nor tea. But they ate pancakes as usual. Slowly people relaxed. Max the Santa heard O Tannenbaum, solo by a great man who had come in late. My man. But cassette auction was won by my woman. The record price 14 €. And Taito sold four of his cd’s. I had kind of heavy night, Taito’s was better. Matti Nykänen, one of our greatest ski-jumpers, once said: ”Fifty-sixty situation.”

After the show we went to club to eat and drink. I loved to drink. We met GuruGuru’s Anthony. And Wojtiek. And others. Now we sit in the car. It’s night. We are going to sleep in here.

73rd day, November 22, 2011, performances n:r 15 and 16

Before we went to sleep we pondered on the colours for the website. Colour blind Taito had a strong opinion on it. Me too, I wanted pale blue like the Merc’s roof and army tent’s green. The result is a compromise, I guess.

I woke up at 8. A beautiful morning, the sun is shining, it’s warm in the car. Taito is snoring beside me. Wakes up and says that you can snore too. I had fallen asleep in the night right away and broomed like a little motor, with the power of a few glasses of wine I had drank. It seems that I’m not so peculiar guy at all. I am an usual snorer. Now I’ll make some coffee.

While we were eating our breakfast there was a small incidence on the street. A BMW didn’t want to start. Suddenly there were four people wondering about it, cables in their hands. Nothing happened. Taito began to feel nervous, he should go to help those people. We have a battery charger in our car. He went out to check the situation. Started to talk to the people. It seemed that the problem was somewhere else, not in the battery. In these new cars you can’t even see the battery when you open the hood. So, Taito took his electricity meter and

checked BMW’s battery, only 5 Volts. He decided to charge it a bit. After five minutes the car’s motor started. Taito is a miracle man. Today’s good deed done.

We cleaned the tent. Couldn’t go to wash dishes because there were kids watching a video in our room in Gasteig. Must wait. We went to shop for pancake ingredients. Then to festival office to fine-tune our brand new website. And write an email to Vienna. The tent there is going to be 5m x 6m. Now we should go back to tent to wash the dishes, empty dirty water and get some new fresh water, make two pancake batters, coffee and tea water. We should also eat and take a nap. Three and half hours to go before the first show.

The first of the two was a nice one. Taito’s second song pulled carpet under my feet totally. Thomas came and some festival people too. The cassette was sold with golden stars. Lots of pancake eating & tea but not so much of coffee. Max was our Santa to whom two Belgian brothers sang a Belgian christmas carroll. People stayed with us quite a long time after the show.

The second of the two was also nice. Two warm audiences in a row, vow! We were quarreling for the first time, I guess, but it was not a major fight. Once again pancakes tasted great in people’s mouths. Ant came plus a bunch of Italians whom I asked to sing an Italian christmas song which Silvia did after a longish thinking session. Our Santa was one of our doormen. Yes. Yes.

We went to the club and talked with Thomas. It’s no fun to talk in a noisy place. Satu and Jacob were there too. The first band had a good attitude but they played too long. The second band was much better. Wish they would have played earlier. They were called Pollyester.

74th day, November 23, 2011, performance n:r 17

I woke up too early. Yesterday night I didn’t feel tired at all. Now I feel tired. Our last performance here at Spielart seems to be far away,

waiting for us in the end of a tunnel, that is this day. Trees, car windows, ground are frosty, the sky gray. Now I go out.

Walked to the city center. Cold day. Munich seems monumental, buildings are low, streets are wide except alleyways that quite often go through inner yards of buildings. Renovation and construction sites everywhere and building of christmas markets. Back to the hotel, red nose in the middle of my face. Did my yoga. Ant sent a sms that there won’t be any demo session today. Walked to Volksbad Cafe to meet Tilmann. Katalin was also there. We ate and chatted.

We came to the car at the same time with Taito. There was a small plastic bag clinging on the car’s side mirror. The BMW owners, Helga and Ekkehard Preuss, whom Taito helped yesterday thanked us bringing some cookies. Taito’s family arrived here today. Lempi, the younger daughter, was about to fall asleep. They had waken at four this morning to catch the flight, which left Helsinki one hour late because of foggy Munich airport. They had eaten lunch in the same Italian restaurant, Dal cavaliere, we had visited two times with Taito. Taito had eaten the similar pizza again. It is delicious, I know. Helmi, the first born, had baked cookies in Biomarkt, next to the restaurant.

Now the tent is ready. We are not ready yet, we must take a short nap. It’s quarter to six.

It’s ten to seven now. Taito plays guitar. Coffee is ready. Men start to be ready too. Andrea came by to say good bye.

The tent became full. A lady said that she read in the morning paper that today was the last chance to taste delicious pancakes. Tea got finished. Nobody drank coffee. But pancakes were eaten with good appetite. Max was Santa, once again, and we heard a beginning of Danish Christmas song. It’s so wonderful when people sing. The auction brought Taito 5 euros. People stayed in the tent long after the show was over, eating pancakes and talking. People who visit Merc ask, if we check cars in Finland at all.

After everybody left we started striking our stuff down, with the help of two Peters, Christoph and Max. Meanwhile we drank the three bottles of beer we had in the fridge of the car. The fridge should be emptied. As well as the waters. Striking down and packing the car took one and half hours. At half past eleven we left the tent and followed Peter to Spielart’s warehouse. Tschüss Merc! It’d stay in Munich waiting for our gig in Vienna in January.

Peter took us to Muffatkafe but it was closed. We walked to the hotel but the hotel bar was also closed. We went to my room to drink the two Beck’s that were kindly provided by the hotel. And to eat the cookies the Preuss couple had brought.

Finally Taito left. But came right away back with Simon. They had party in their room. Let’s hop in. Twelve people in a small room. Viennoise. Smoke, gin tonic and beer. One of the group was Hungarian Tomi. He was astonished that a foreigner could talk Hungarian. Then the portier came to complain that we were far too noisy. Taito had left already earlier and I followed his example while the others continued the party in the closed hotel bar. It was 3 am.

75th day, November 24, 2011

My alarm clock rang at 7 am. Ate breakfast together with Ilona and girls. Taito was sleeping. Spielart bus for the airport left at 8. With me there were three Italians on their way to Paris and Nancy. Arrivederci.

76th day, January 2, 2012

Driving home from a short New Year’s Eve holiday we visited Taito. We toured in the big house, chatted this and that and ate potatoes made in oven, goat cheese beetroots, salad and black currant moussé for dessert. Lempi concentrated in sausages. Before we left I lead our discussion to calender. Taito and Ilona had talked about the issue earlier that day, but the last word remaind unsaid, yet.

While we were at Taito’s, the weather had turned terrible: snowing with heavy wind made the visibility quite poor. Well, we made it to Helsinki.

77th day, January 10, 2012

We talked in phone with Taito. Should answer to Gothenburg, Viiala and Rakvere. And Oldenburg needed some tuning too.

78th day, January 13, 2012

Taito called while driving to Turku. It was a bad weather. Gothenburg remained unclear. Viiala was ok. Rakvere must wait until I’ve talked with Priit. We made a call date for Tuesday. On Wednesday morning we will leave for Vienna.

79th day, January 18, 2012

Yesterday we called three times with Taito. The last call took place at 22:00. Taito asked me to call him in the morning once I had woken up.

I woke up at 6. Called Taito. He was not on the road yet, instead he had been searching for his wallet for half an hour. We hung up. He called back at 6:10, had found his wallet underneath of clean laundry. Now I see him, before the desk at the airport. It’s 7:20. The boarding will start in five minutes.

Peter took us from Munich airport to Spielart warehouse. The Merc had the same colour it used to have. Motor started with third try. Exhaust fumes were black and smelled awful. Taito checked oil, cooling liquid, tyres and lights. We hit the road at 10:30. I’m surprised that the navigator guides us towards Deggendorf and not Salzburg. I check the old-fashioned map and it seems that we will enter Austria

somewhere near Passau. 460 km to go. The sun is shining hot and bright.

1.hour 76 km, 2. hour 160 km. We stopped for fuel (40 l) and lunch and Die Vignette at 12:45. Crossed the Austrian border at 14:10. 4. hour 224 km, 5. hour 310 km, 6. hour 392 km, 7. hour 447 km. Our average speed was 61,3 km/h.

We arrived to brut at 18:00. Tent was there, and it was similar than our Helsinki tent, but here you can’t call it tent, because in Vienna there is a theatre police who says that you can’t set up a tent in front of brut and have a performance there, it is a tube construction covered with fabric, that is brought from Pakistan and treated with liquid that won’t burn. Technicians were still working. And Thomas was there too, we said hello, stayed for a moment and left for our hotel near to Westbahnhof.

The hotel was fine. They even adviced us to have supper in traditional Austrian restaurant. It was fine too and food was good and we drank one glass too much. In Vienna you can smoke in restaurant. Or there is a rule that says that you should have room also for non-smokers and that toilets should be located so that you don’t have to cross smoking area to enter. In this restaurant there were three successive rooms; the first was a bar where you could smoke, the second, where you entered from the first, was meant for smoking diners and the third, where you entered from the second, for non-smoking diners. Toilets were located next to this third room.

Now Taito has started to snore, I’m writing this but my eyes say good night. See you tomorrow.

80th day, January 19, 2012, performance n:r 18

Got up at 8:30. The sun has gone, it’s raining and it looks cold outside. We are a bit excited to see, if there is water on the floor of the tent or not. And if the theatre police comes to check our car with its gas heating. The last thought before we go out: we are not of sugar!

First we visited Turkish supermarket for pancake ingredients. Kefir changed into sauermilch and other stuff was bio. Taito bought a piece of suho meso, kind of smoked meat.

Now it’s almost 14:00. It has rained all the time. The tent - well, I call it tent because tube construction is so a long expression - is dripping water inside a bit but otherwise it is starting to feel homely, cosy and even warm. We are almost ready to take care of our visitors. Taito checked the chainsaw; then we need to do liquorice, coffee, tea water, pancake batter etc. At the moment I’m cooking noodles with olive oil and garlic. By the way, did you know, that in Vienna the door of a performance space must be at least 1,94 m high, and if you serve food for audience in your show, you must offer hand washing facilities?

Now it’s 18:30 and the wind is fierce; luckily they have secured the tent with stones weighing 2,5 tons. The doors of the tent tear open continuously. Chris is trying to make them heavier with hanging metal bits on them. But the metal bits make a lot of noise, banging against the stone yard. But the booklet/diary looks great, it has even pictures of us! (No page numbers, though.) It’s time for final preparations, pancake cooking starts in 20 minutes.

We had audience of 20 people. The strong wind kept disturbing us during the whole show. It’s kind of hard to get into feeling that nothing is happening, when all the time a lot is happening - the tent trembled and the doors flew in and out. But pancakes tasted good with tea and coffee. The cassette auction ended at 4 euros, but since Taito didn’t have any change, it seems that it cost 10 euros. Thomas made Santa, for whom a young man sang with tiny voice: I’m fucking glad it’s not christmas time anymore. Summa summarum: we performed in widthwise setup, tomorrow we’ll do it lengthwise in order to be nearer to the people. (It seems that small tent works better with lengthwise setup while big tent likes widthwise setup.) And with or without rain and wind, the frontyard of brut is noisy.

Afterwards we went to brut bar upstairs for a couple of beer & chat. Disco music was lousy & noisy.

81st day, January 20, 2012, performance n:r 19

We came back to the car after midnight. Sat down by the table and ate some bread. Decided to sleep in the car. Outside there was a funny sight: long taxi row waiting for shiny people who were finishing one of the annual balls in Musikverein.

We woke up at 7. Just next to the Merc there was an orange truck doing something that made a terrible noise. Now it’s nine o’clock. It’s raining. It’s windy. I’ll make coffee and then we’ll wash the dishes in the tent. Let’s see what else the day brings. After coffee we rearranged the tent into lengthwise setup.

Then it was tourist time! We went to Zentralfriedhof, cemetery. It started to rain again while we were walking in the Jewish part of the cemetery, that felt like a forest. The rain became densier and heavier and it was raining sleet when we reached Beethoven, Brahms, Strauss and Mozart. Soaking wet we entered restaurant Schloss Concordia by the first gate of the cemetery. The 3 S meal, soup, super schnitzel and sacher torte made us strong again! Back in the city we visited Spar Gourmet for pancake ingredients & some other stuff. Sauermilch changed into natural yoghurt.

It’s quarter past five and we had a short nap. Taito started to make pancake batter. It became the thickest batter we ever had; yesterday it was quite thin. The tent is trembling in the wind.

After all it was not so windy and it didn’t rain. For some reason the whole audience, 15 people, came in sharply at 20:00. It felt funny to sit in empty tent five minutes before show time, wondering if anybody’s coming. It was a nice (although professional) audience, who flowed in smoothly. Although it was colder than yesterday, people didn’t drink nor eat a lot. Nobody wanted to buy the cassette but when I threatened to buy it for 1 cent, Oleg bid 1 euro. Thomas made Santa again, whom we tried to sing O Tannenbaum. People liked liquorice (we should have begun to collect a list of foreigners - already in

Munich - who like liquorice and bring it to Fazer one day; maybe it’s not too late yet?), visited the car & stayed to chat for a while. We put valuables to car and went to brut im Konzerthaus for öfa party.

82nd day, January 21, 2012, performance n:r 20

öfa Kollektivet’s party last night in brut im Konzerthaus was cool. Lots of young people and some funny activities. Finally we took U-bahn home.

In the morning I woke up by a dream: a low, rumbling voice said to me, hrr, hrr. I opened my eyes and it was Taito, snoring. It was 8 o’clock. After breakfast we began walking towards city centre. It was nice weather, even the sun showed itself few times, if I remember right. On the road we shopped some gifts & some uselful stuff too, like notebooks and an induction cooker. What do you think of it? How do the pancakes taste? You have the honour to be the first audience to eat pancakes made by our new cooker & new pan.

But it was also a tragical day. I know that my sight is not as good as it used to be. And now Taito says that the new cooker makes a high, tiny sound. Can you hear it? Let’s listen to it. I can’t hear it. (Actually only one young man said that he heard it.) Grasshoppers I still hear. But then it doesn’t disturb me like it disturbs Taito.

For lunch we went to a Greek restaurant Kostas, here near. Food was tasty, we drank retsina, Greek coffee and Kostas gave us a sip of ouzo for the road. I asked how long he had had the restaurant. 35 years. ”When I came here my hair was not gray yet.”

While having lunch it had started to rain. Now it’s raining sleet, big flakes. Not my favourite weather. Would I go to see a show if the weather was like this? Maybe, maybe not. Now it’s 18:40, everything should be ready. Soon Taito will start to fry pancakes with our new set.

Diana came with the contract at 19:15. I signed it. She said that there won’t be too many people coming. Half past seven four Finnish ladies

came. They were curious. Thought that Taito was Estonian. Five minutes later a Hungarian woman came, who spoke Finnish and declared that let’s see if you are good enough for Budapest. We talked for a moment but then other people started to arrive. Suddenly our tent was full and we had to bring extra chairs, and there were even some people left outside. 33 people. And 28 was the maximum theatre police allowed. It was raining hard, together with traffic they made a big noise. We had to speak loud. But we had a friendly, positive bunch with us once again. The cassette was bought by the Hungarian lady. Pancakes, coffee & tea tasted good. I made Santa myself, angry, with sunglasses, and we heard a Finnish carroll.

After we chatted with people, Taito sold a couple of cd’s and we started to pack. It took some time. Then to upstairs bar for a drink and talk with Thomas, Michelangelo and Ulu. Ulu came with us to car too for bread, cheese and Austrian apricot spirit. We arrived to hotel at 3.

83rd day, January 22, 2012

We got up after four hours of sleep at 7. At 8:25 start, 442 km to go. After 7 km we took 34,35 l of fuel. 1. hour 42 km, 2. hour 123 km, 3. hour 207 km, 4. hour 289 km. At 12:40 we were stopped by Asfinag. They wanted to see the car’s papers and said that the vignette we had bought was valid only for cars under 3,5 tons. The Merc’s total weight is 4180 kg, 3550 kg being its eigenmasse. It means that we had to pay fine of 220 euros. We should have had electronic Go-box. And we were only 1 kilometre away from German border. Argh! Taito thought it was an adventure and seemed to be happy, even delighted.

5.hour 333 km. 37,6 l of fuel, oil check, lunch and bad coffee. Listening to audiobook, Katja Kettu’s Kätilö ‘Midwife’. South of Chiemsee our speed slowed down til 45 km/hour. 6. hour 355 km. After Rosenheim the speed dropped til 35 km/h! 7. hour 433 km.

Just when we turned to Maria-Probst-Strasse we were stopped again, this time by police. A young man and a young woman in civil clothes

in gray BMW. They wanted to see our and car’s papers. Oh, such an old car. Yes, isn’t it? They were also very interested, if we had any peculiar items in the car, like short knives. Only one bread knife. Can I see it? Come in. The man came in. Seeing the gas balloon he remarked that it should be fastened better, like under the table. Yes, next to the bear. Then he checked my rucksack. Finding nothing he asked, are there any drugs in the car? No. Do you realise that if we find them here now you’ll be in serious trouble? Then he asked, Mr. Hoffrén, when did you smoke your last joint? Never. Come on, when was it? Taito explained, that he smokes only ordinary cigarettes, not pot. They went to their car to check our id’s, and coming back said, are you now driving to Finland? No. Do you know, that you can’t park a mobile home on the street for more than two weeks? We’ll park it on a private yard. Ok, gute reise. I asked if they knew taxi’s telephone number but they didn’t.

We arrived to Spielart’s warehouse at 16:00, perfectly in time. Our average speed today was 58,9 km/h. We took our stuff. Auf wiedersehen for three months. Tilmann sms’d taxi’s number and I called there. At the airport we queued for an hour. Everyone was with ski bags. I bought calvados for myself and Taito candy for family. It’s 18:14 and boarding started. At half-way captain announced that the Finnish presidential elections will need second round. In Helsinki I checked news: Niinistö and Haavisto will have a duel!

84th day, January 23, 2012

In the morning we called and agreed upon the dates for Gothenburg and Oldenburg. Taito had checked the details of the yearly car control: Merc should be controlled until the end of April but it’s in Germany and we’ll be back in Finland only on 1st of May; if car has been abroad, you’ll have a month of extra time. That means that Taito will have three weeks to check Merc before leaving for Gothenburg. Or three days after.

85th day, January 28, 2012

I met Priit in Tallinn. I told about our journey experiences. He wants 10 journeys to Baltoscandal in the beginning of July. Three or four performances in the park behind the theatre. It is already the next day now, Sunday afternoon. I’m sitting aboard of a ferry to Helsinki. I smell cognag in the air.

86th day, February 26, 2012

It’s Sunday morning. This is not one of ten journeys. I’m going to Brussels in Radio de la Liberté businesses. But I dreamt about being on one of ten journeys. I don’t remember seeing Taito, but the car reminded of Merc. Kari and Ritva were there too. We were driving in a forest. I could see wild animals, bears and a wolverine, that ran by a female bear and her cub into a ditch with a biggish black animal in its mouth. In my dream I thought it was a stoat or weasel or something like that. Finally we arrived to the place of the performance, that was deep inside of the forest. I was terrified, that this was the place where we were going to set up the tent. I remembered that luckily I’ve got a bell in my bag. I must attach that outside of the tent to keep bears away.

87th day, March 19, 2012

I’ve spent the winter translating Hungarian György Faludy’s novel My Happy Days in Hell. Today I decided to dedicate to 10 journeys’ matters: boat & flight tickets to Oldenburg and Gothenburg, Gothenburg interview and Trondheim dates. I missed translating.

Before in March I organized, by e-mail, our future journeys to PAZZ, Oldenburg, with Lajos, Felix, Mona, Mira, Bernd, Jana and Katja (skyped with Thomas), to Göteborgs Dans & Teater Festival with Anders, Karin, Anton and Hanna, to Kesäkatu (Summer Street), Viiala, with Riku (we talked in phone too), to Baltoscandal, Rakvere, with Kati

and to Bastard, Trondheim, with Ingrid and Anniken. Sven from Bergen wrote, that ”All is superfine, - life occasionally sucks, - u know”.

88th day, April 14, 2012

The last emails with PAZZ Festival were about Taito’s chainsaw or its loudness. I thought about it for three seconds and answered, that the brand is Stihl, that it runs on petrol, that chainsaws happen to be naturally loud and that it is more quiet than a Harley-Davidson. The PAZZ people liked my answer and were surprised, that it also helped really.

89th day, April 19, 2012

We woke up at 4.50 am in my place, had a quick coffee and hit the road. Taxi to the airport. At the airport I realised, that our adventure had really begun, I had put my long-time companion, my beloved Leatherman, into my handbag. Well, security woman kindly asked, whether I wanted to keep its leather pouch. Yes, why not. A keepsake.

We switched flight in Berlin. I learned that my boots have steel caps, not plastic, like I had thought. It didn’t make me either sad or glad.

Our luggage didn’t arrive to Munich with us. We gave to clerk Oldenburg’s hotel address. She didn’t know how our bags will come there. Took a taxi to Spielart’s warehouse. Found Merc in good shape. Checked oil, cooling liquid, tyres & lights. She started on the first try. Let’s go. 788 km ahead of us. Sun is shining.

After 50 km we made a new speed record 97 km/h! 1st hour 78 km, first stop 37,93 l of diesel, two sandwiches, juice, beer, water. It is

spring: more sportscars & cabriolets & camper vans. Tried to measure air pressure but meter was behind a truck. We started to listen to Katja Kettu’s novel Midwife again. Had listened to it from Vienna to Munich in January, but then my earphones were not good enough and I didn’t hear it. 2nd hour 116 km, 3rd hour 197 km.

At 14.00 we were stopped by a motorcycle policeman. He asked, if we had anything interesting in the car, like marihuana. We could have 5 grams, it’d be ok. Nope, we are not dope men. He also said that in Germany police have right to check people & cars on autobahn. He checked our papers and said, that in six years Taito’s driving licence was the first Finnish one he had seen. Then he checked the car and asked whether we were timberjacks. Finally, he wished us to have fun.

Fourth hour 256 km, fifth hour 339 km (between fourth and fifth hour I napped). Stopped for fuel, 28,75 l. Tried to measure air pressure but meter didn’t work. Sixth hour 383 km. We made a new record of slowness (because of a slow truck!) – uphill south of Kassel, 20 km/h. Seventh hour 434 km. Then Stermann Spedition’s super heavy tank truck helped us to a new slowness record somewhere south of Göttingen: 13 km/h.

I forgot the 8th hour, because we talked about a new project idea. 9th hour 584 km. Fuel stop 23,25 l, air pressure ok! Added lots of oil. It started to rain, sky is dark. 10th hour 624 km, 11th hour 701 km. Listening to Scott Walker’s Drift, weird music indeed. 12th hour 778 km and finally we parked to Hotel Heide’s parking lot in Oldenburg at 23.15. Our average speed was 64,3 km/h.

While visiting Oldenburg a year ago, Taito wrote: ”We are travelling with Juha to a place where nothing happens. It’s spring and my

Camper shoes are hot. Park, geese, city, smell of sausage. I bought a teddy bear. A difficult choice. Should I buy three Chinese or one German. I bought the German one, George. Salesman said to the bear: ‘Make people glad.’ He put the bear into a bag and sent him away. In park a father went for a pee behind us. He watered the same spot as Juha.”

90th day, 20 April, 2012

We woke up at 8. Had noticed in the night, that there is a morning sauna in the hotel. Had made a plan: at 8 sauna, at 9 breakfast, at 10 we leave for the tent. At 8 we decided to sleep one hour longer (well, you never know about German saunas, didn’t dare to risk). It’s 9 o’clock, hot shower and breakfast. Sun is shining. Every day without total rain is a victory!

My bag arrived! I’ve got clean clothes on! I don’t stink!

Woman at the hotel reception had called Munich airport and she had been told, that they had found Taito’s bag, but they didn’t know where it was.

We drove to the tent by the Exerzierhalle and were greeted by Thomas and his crew. The tent is a white party tent with transparent window walls. It is 6 m wide, 6 m long and more than 3 m high. It looks great. For a while we thought where to park Merc. We had some of the white walls and some of the window walls switched, Italians moved their tiny Renault a bit and we parked our van.

Now we are waiting for the carpet. Once it arrives, we empty the Merc and make our home. The carpet didn’t come by itself. We had to carry it with Nikolaus. Then we went to eat to Theater Cafe with Pekko. Met there Ant & Britt. Came back to the tent. Now we have one big and one small fake Persian rug on the floor. Beautiful. We set all things up and left the tv on. Watching from outside through the window doors; inside it looks quite cosy.

After the festival opening we peeped a bit the Avanti show, which looked hilarious and serious at the same time. It’s late. I have had enough of beers but Taito is still missing one. We have talked about life, what else, with Risto. Risto left and we talked about music. (And Taito got his bag back. At noon they called from the hotel, that the bag had arrived. PAZZ people called the hotel and they had never heard about Taito’s bag.) Bed is calling.

91st day, April 21, 2012, performance n:r 21

I woke up after 7. Went for pee, saw people going to the marketplace, rooster was yelling nearby, in Finnish it says kukkokiekuu, how does it yell in German? Kikerikii.

It’s 10 o’clock. Sun is shining. Taito went to Exerzierhalle for shower, I made coffee and drank it. Good coffee. The floor of the car is really dirty. Don’t walk on it bare feet. I took shower too. After we started final preparations, lighting etc. We realised that my Pignose amplifier was dead. We walked 1,5 km to Musik Productive. There was a small Marshall amp. We continued walking further 1 km to Music Station, but it had closed 15 minutes earlier. Back to Musik Productive to buy the Marshall. To Netto for pancake ingredients. I noticed that Oldenburg is a city for bikers & cars. As a pedestrian I found myself quite often in a narrow spot. But it didn’t rain. Back at the tent we put the stuff into the Merc and went to see, if there was still some food left

to eat. Yes, there was. Superb! After lunch more preparations. Now it’s 17.15, Taito’ll start to fry pancakes in 15 minutes, I’m making coffee, it’s raining.

Before the show started electricity went off three times. But it also came back three times. People began to arrive 15 minutes before real start. Taito made pancakes, I waited. Suddenly the tent was full, 30 people. And then our induction cooker went off, maybe it overheated? Luckily we had enough pancakes ready for everybody.

As usual Taito started with a sad (for Atro’s father) and a happy song (I requested it). We watched video, I gave German, English and Finnish booklets (they are the best ever) to the audience and began to read. Taito got the cooker working again. Taito’s timberjack outfit made people laugh and bear still more. Waiting for my moose went smoothly. More pancakes, some flirts, reading, tuba. As musician guest we had a five strong Balkan brass band, Volxtanz. They waited outside and started while Taito was finishing tuba inside. Great band! Burkha impro rocked too, auction ended at 10 euros. Video & Santa who was Risto tonight. With him came heavy rain. We had to yell to Santa and it was great. As Christmas carroll we heard a Danish song, beautiful. People loved pancakes! We learned that in Northern Ireland they call these drop scones. Nice show. Taito didn’t sell any cd’s.

Afterwards we chilled, drank red wine and beer and watched people. To bed around two, after a couple of rounds of Kniffel, a dice game.

92nd day, April 22, 2012, performance n:r 22

I woke after 7. It was bright in the car, Taito was snoring. Once in a while it rained a bit. Got up at 10, went pee to the festival center, where the crew greeted me with a common ”morning!”. I felt like a

hero after another night in the car. Actually, it’s really nice to sleep in there, beats any hotel. Breakfast & writing.

It’s one o’clock. Santa’s gifts are ready, tent is clean, cups etc washed. It’s not raining. I can see a glimpse of the sun. It’s 3 o’clock. It’s windy and cold. We ate lunch and visited Priscilla’s home in the Container City. Taito brought her two cd’s. Till promised us a musician guest for tonight, let’s see what happens. Katja will do Santa.

At four we went to participate in Ant & Geert-Jan’s ”Ok Ok”. Taito was talking all the time, I got the script of the Playwright and didn’t have almost anything to say. Soon Taito’ll start to fry pancakes, I’m boiling water for tea & making coffee. Here we go again. It was warm and sunny while we were sitting in the furniture shop doing ”Ok Ok”, now it’s raining again. The tent feels colder than yesterday.

The performance was completely different than yesterday. Twenty women and three men, all of them German-speaking, only two coffee drinkers and one eager lady, who followed Taito outside, when he went to the car, and me, when I went to saw, and Taito again, when he went to saw. The same woman was the last to leave the tent after the show was over. Katja made a quiet, little Santa, whom people sang Jingle Bells to; Till had organised a female violinist for a musician guest, she was waiting outside while Taito finished his tuba inside. In the beginning I thought, whether people knew English at all but then I gave up, it felt that yes, they do. The auction gave Taito six euros. A young woman announced, that she hated liquorice, took it and gave it to her neighbour.

After the show we ate soup and went to watch Theater Replacement, which we liked a lot. I saw Anna, who didn’t come to watch us:-( Now

we are sitting in the car heating Helge’s giro soup, that I’m not going to eat because of meat but Helge and Taito will eat it with delight. (So they did.) The violinist’s band is playing at the club. It’s past midnight. It’s Helge’s 26th birthday. We toasted for it with peach brandy we bought in Vienna. Then we went to listen to Volxtanz. They are still playing. I’m sitting in the car alone. I want to sleep. Music sounds great. I must recommend it to Pietu for Balkan Fever Club in Helsinki.

93rd day, April 23, 2012, performance n:r 23

I woke at seven once again. Sun is shining, it’s bright. Should go pee. I remembered the last night’s performance of Theater Replacement, where one of the males explained, how he must go pee right away, when he feels it, that is to say, it’s emergency situation. I lied on bed for an hour before I went to toilet. It was quiet outside. I saw Britt walking briskly in her blue coat, with big earphones, in a very determined way. I went back to bed but couldn’t sleep anymore, started to ponder on the last night’s show. It was entertaining, funny, touching and well done. I liked music, that was modest and quiet, capo was the same woman, who sang in our performance a Danish christmas carroll two nights ago. I think my problem was, that they kept running through the whole show, from one story to another, tempo was up. And I don’t think it was only because I came from our show, where we try to stop time. Now there are more people outside, I want to go to shower. Today I must nap.

I went to shower. Changed clothes. Went to bakery for coffee, Taito slept on. Visited Netto for pancake ingredients. The car was locked, when I came back, Taito had gone to shower. I cleaned the tent. Collected dirty dishes. Foggy feeling. Taito was standing in front of Exerzierhalle talking with Replacement capo. I thanked her for the show. Washed the dishes in Ex Bar. We went for coffee. Sun is shining. It’s noon.

I napped. We had lunch. Talked with Karen about Finland and WW II. Taito is making pancake batter. I’m making coffee. We are listening to Veda’s cd. It’s four o’clock, it’s not raining.

Ten minutes before show the first spectator came. Then she left leaving her bag. Oh, only for a smoke. Another one came, talked with me about Estonia for a moment, asked if he could leave his bag on the bench and left. At six we had dozen people in the tent. Pancakes, coffee, tea. They kept talking even when Taito sang, but slowly they fell silent. We continued chatting, explaining Taito’s first song, which was half sad, half happy – so called fifty sixty situation! Once again I had problems turning the cooker off and I asked help from the audience. Together we managed. Went out to saw and was followed by a guy who took photos. He followed Taito too. People loved the moose poem. This time Tilla had organised us two singing guitarists. Funny. Auction gave Taito 6,10 €. Uwe did Santa. And Taito even sold a few cd’s. After I talked with Christian and Uwe about Roma people, Hungary and Greece, while Taito discussed Kalevala with Risto.

After show soup. Then Antonia Baehr’s Lachen, which I had seen already in Helsinki. Great work. There is the saying: long laughter/joy is followed by cry. Talking with Katja, Risto, Uwe. Met Honne, who had his hands in play when I came to Oldenburg first time, in 1999. In car we tasted Viennoise Veltliner brandy and went to bed, an hour earlier than usually!

94th day, April 24, 2012, performance n:r 24

As usual, I woke at 7. It was raining. Now we go searching for breakfast, rain has stopped, it’s almost 10 o’clock. I saw Ant biking. Found breakfast in the city center. Saw that there is a Markus Lüpertz

show there, want to go to see it. Didn’t want to go to Netto again and we found a Rewe in the basement of a shopping mall. Back to the tent. Cleaning, washing dishes, writing. A parking controller put his face into the car and asked where is our parking ticket. I found Thomas to talk to him. It’s kind of warm weather.

Lunch, Santa’s gifts, pancake batter, listening to Outi’s cd. Then we went to do Ant’s Quiet Volume. Fascinating work. It’s 17.40. Soon Taito’ll start frying pancakes, I’m making coffee.

Tonight Taito started to fry pancakes only at six, half past hour before show-time. Audience started to enter the tent a quarter before. The first two were Finns! Finally we had some twenty people in, quite heterogenic bunch, coffee, tea, pancakes. Rocking on our chairs. Taito’s first song was sad, and I asked him, would you like to be somewhere else at the moment and he answered, yes. Then he sang a short happy song and announced, that now it’s good to be here. We watched Leg Journey. I told how it all began and Taito made some more pancakes. This time nobody followed me out, when I went sawing. Nobody followed Taito either. Moose story seems to be our PAZZ hit. For some reason I didn’t have problems with our cooker, maybe it starts to obey my fingers too. I left Taito playing tuba and went out searching for blues musician Till had promised us. He was not there. But luckily Honne, actor, was there with his battery organ. I sent him to tent and soon everybody was singing with him! My burkha impro was not good but cassette was bought with a 5 € voucher, that are given to immmigrants and that are valid in certain shops, like Netto. But you can’t buy alcohol with it. We watched Journey to Paradise. Then Taito heard something and found Santa there! Tonight’s Santa was shy, lonely, needed tender company. He glued onto Taito and ate pancakes secretly. We gave him some liquor and sang to him a Finnish & a German carroll. Thanks, Honne (not the young actor but a middle-aged ballet company manager). After people ate some more pancakes, visited the Merc and bought a couple of cd’s. Then we gave

a short interview to local internet tv channel and had to skip the Dutch performance.

In the club they had soup with meat, so I ended up drinking too much red wine. Pekko presented his clever loudspeaker, that he had in his hood. Helge said that he must go home to wash underwear. Uwe told about his younger son. I don’t remember what Risto said. Finally we came to the car with Uwe & Risto and I did the old trick, turned off completely.

95th day, April 25, 2012, performance n:r 25

This morning Taito got up much earlier than me! We both had shower. Made coffee in the car and ate bread & cheese we bought yesterday in the marketplace. Delicious. Then we cleaned the tent and washed dishes. Gave short interview to the local real tv. Got a bike! Sun is shining, birds singing, leaves of trees growing, it’s noon, Taito is trying to nap.

We rented a bike for Taito too. Went for lunch but stopped for shopping (Taito four notebooks of the Comedian Harmonists, me a shirt for myself & t-shirts for my sons) and for shooting pictures of stencils. On way back to the tent some oil, tea & water. Now Taito is making pancake batter and we are listening to Comedian Harmonists on Taito’s phone. It’s 4 o’clock.

Taito went to do Ant’s Etiquette with Honne (Honne’s name is something else, it seems that I didn’t get it quite right, sorry). They both heard the same instructions and the result was quite funny. The men laugh still when seeing each other. I did the Etiquette with Anne. I love Ant’s pieces – fascinating games of life. Now coffee making.

Taito started to fry pancakes at 18.10. People started to enter five minutes later, soon pancakes were finished. Taito kept frying, I waited tea & coffee & occasional pancakes. Still I think, that the timing of pancakes was almost perfect. We got full tent. Michael sneaked in from the back door and suddenly I heard Eva’s voice. Taito sang a sad song, which made me smile inside. We watched Car Journey. When Taito finished sawing, people outside cheered and applauded, for a moment we had two shows going on at the same time. As musician guests we had a trio, even a doublebass in the tent! Cassette was bought with a 10 euro note that was taken from underpants. The same girl made us dance sun dance, because Santa, who was Thomas, asked for it. Lovely. Tonight all the pancakes were eaten, info desk girls took care of them.

After we went to Mem Morrison’s Ringside. Is he afraid of getting married? Does he want to get married? Is family’s pressure on him, he being already clearly middle-aged man and not-married? Is he married? Is he gay? But he moved nicely, and there were many clever details in his show. Back to the festival center Mathias told us that Real Madrid–Bayern München had gone to penalties. Five minutes later he comes enthusiastic, shaking: ”Bayern won! We’re gonna make it! We will become champions!” Festival club is extremely noisy tonight. Out to rain.

96th day, April 26, 2012, performance n:r 26

Last night we went to bed early. Got up in the morning at 8.30. Talked about the last night’s shows, ours and Ringside. Made coffee. Cleaned the tent, washed dishes, changed car’s waters. Local people like the wooden discs Taito saws. Few days ago I gave one to a young woman and this morning I saw, how an elderly man, the same guy whose bike

I had praised on the first day, put a disc into his bag and went on. He didn’t notice me seeing him.

At two we went to sauna. We thought it was a small, special sauna in the southern end of Schlossgarten, Castle Park, but it turned out to be Olantis, Oldenburgische Atlantis, a gigantic spa. We were supposed to meet Till, Pekko and Risto there. Didn’t see them. In the dressingroom we saw Pekko’s sneakers. Finally someone guided us outside, where there was a kelosauna, Erd Sauna. Kelo is Finnish word, meaning a dead, dry tree trunk, that is still standing up and has silverish, grayish colour. Sauna was quite empty, then Till, Pekko and Risto came and some other people too. And Katja, sauna lady. I had heard horror stories of German sauna rituals and was quite excited. Katja gave us a really nice treatment with real birch tree twigs. Then outdoors pool and another sauna. Room for relaxing.

Back to the tent. Preparations. Thomas asked us, whether we could do an extra show tonight in a case it’s bad weather and Avanti can’t play. Well, let’s see what happens.

Taito started frying pancakes 16.30. People started to come quarter to five. Tent got full. Half of them coffee drinkers, half prefered tea. All ate pancakes. During Taito’s first song they made soundcheck in the club. Loud. I couldn’t get any idea what Taito was singing and neither could he. Luckily it was not our first or second performance here, we stayed calm, didn’t start to run. No musician guest tonight, although he hasd visited us yesterday. I made a shyish Santa, playing some hide-and-seek with Taito. Santa said that he had heard a German christmas carroll in Munich, and a lady said that it’s Bavaria, not Germany. Santa said that then he had not heard any German christmas carroll and the lady sang her a song but it was not German

but Maori song from New Zealand. Everybody got liquorice and were happy.

We cleaned the tent and washed dishes but were happy to hear that there won’t be another show tonight. Then we had dinner at Bistro Feuerstein, rollo & pizza. Great. No males working in there, like in kebab-pizzerias usually. Back to the festival hubbub. Till apologised for the missing musician guest. Kondek & Kühl performance ”Money – it came from outer space”. Fast, farce-like tempo, English and German, lots of facts of money’s unbelievable and horrible ways, really well done and clever to mix money with aliens from sci-fi movies. But once again I missed the point.

97th day, April 27, 2012, performance n:r 27

In the night we talked with many people. With Priscilla, Risto & Pekko about Finland; then Eva joined us briefly; then Ant joined us and Eva left and I don’t remember what we talked about first, but after we moved into the Merc with Ant & Pekko we talked about Japan and game theories. It was two o’clock. We said good night to the guys and went to sleep.

It was our last night in the car in Oldenburg. Got up at 9. Took shower. Made coffee. Ate breakfast. Went to Wilhelm 13 to discuss international translational strategies, problems & networks with other artists, translators and festival people. Outside Pekko said that eventually international change would present cobras to Europe or something like that. Then we left. Taito went to return his bike. I came to write.

At 14.30 artist talk with Caravan of Love & Mammalian Diving Reflex. The presenter talked about useful and useless experience. I felt struck

by this useless experience and asked, what it is. Or maybe I said, that there is none. Anyways, nobody commented. Mammalian Darren told two anecdotes, one from their process with Singapore women – a 63-year-old virgin attending a workshop of the best sex I ever had (everyone’s life is a giant miracle) – and another from Toronto, where parents keep their 3-year-old Storm’s gender hidden. A real guineapig!

It’s 16.30, birds are singing, sun is shining once in a while, pancake batter is ready, I made coffee. Everything is ready, we don’t have Santa yet, let’s see if he comes at all. (Ant promised on the first day to be a Santa once...) It’s 17.05.

It’s 17.30. Taito starts to fry pancakes. We are overwhelmed by the last PAZZ performance’s feeling. At 17.40 we counted how many pancakes Taito has made during the Ten Journeys, some 2000. Audience started to come 15 minutes before show-time. The first one to come was a man, who had visited Tampere many times. (He left before the end.) Soon the tent was full. Today most of the people were coffee drinkers and all of them decent pancake eaters. It was a slow show, we took our time it being our last show here. A few kids, the Children Jury. The bear makes people always laugh. As a musician guest we had a hammond player who sang a saddish song of love. Burkha impro rocked. A big guy bought the cassette with 5 euros. (Afterwards I made another burkha impro for a birthday present for one of the festival girls; Irina paid two Jever’s for that.) Irina made Santa, being the tiniest Santa ever! Tannenbaum! Some people stayed with us quite long time, chatting, buying Taito’s cd’s, watching videos, eating pancakes. They even brought intsruments and played some music. Anna, who had corrected my English with a sensitive and delicate hand, came and I thanked her with pancakes. Slowly we started to take things down. The chef came with a friend and they finished the pancakes. I went to wash the dishes to the festival club. After came Eva and we chatted some time in the tent, in the middle of

our stuff. Finally we got the Merc packed. Decided to leave it there by the tent. Drank a couple of beers, talked with Finns and walked with them to the hotel, via mysterious ways guided by Pekko. Good feeling.

98th day, April 28, 2012

I woke at 6.20 in the morning but got up only at 9.30. Typical. Plan for the day: breakfast; walk to the festival center; oil & coolant check; beer & apfleshcorle shopping for Ilona’s doctorate party; side mirror for the car. At 15.00 there will be a evaluation talk at Wilhelm 13. Then we have tickets for 2401 Objects. And finally we hit the road towards Travemünde.

It’s 14.20. Taito is in toy shop searching for gifts for his daughters. I’m waiting for him outside. It’s nice weather, trees blossom. At 15 we participated in feedback talk of festival’s translational processes. (It seems that majority of festival’s theatre performances were quick and fast. Accelerated. We are the slow guys and our car is slow too.)

We left Oldenburg at 17.30. Sun was shining. Caravan of Love had taken over our tent, the yard was full of people. Thomas guided us out of the yard, people cheered and waved farewell. 242 km to go. Five minutes after start on the Oldenburg ringroad Taito noticed that there were shoes clinging on the side mirror. (We had eaten lunch together with Till. Suddenly he said, whethet we wanted to take his old shoes with us, so he could wear them when we meet again. Till is a big-time romantic! I didn’t want them but Taito did. We forgot about it but Till had striked!) Must stop. We took fuel at the same time, 32,80 l.

The first hour 50 km. We stopped to empty our fridge: cheese, boiled eggs, butter, bread. The second hour 112 km. Taito recorded car’s motor for one and half hours. The volume level was more than 80 dB.

The third hour 157 km. Just before Lübeck, at 21.13 we passed a car. The fourth hour 234 km. We trusted on GPS and drove past Skandinavienkai crossing. Now we are in Travemünde, must go back, 8,5 km.

We were there at 21.53. Our average speed was 55 km/h. At the gate they said that we may enter the ship only at 2.30. Yippii! It’s 23.00. They started to take familycars in. I read aloud Antti Hyry’s novel Maailman laita / The edge of the world. Then Taito read it. We read one after another. Catch of the day: we didn’t get the side mirror and we skipped the theatre.

99th day, 29 April, 2012

We got into the boat at 00.20. The Merc looked like a raisin between the other cars. We took our stuff to cabin. The time jumped an hour further, it’s Finnish time onboard of the ship. To bar where we drank two beers. Taito lost 5 euros in poker. Six hours to breakfast.

We woke up at 9.30. Breakfast. Being. To sauna. In the sauna I was struck by a funny feeling, that we had been onboard of an exactly similar ship half a year ago, in an exactly similar sauna and bubble bath, on our way to Munich. That the journey had taken six months. Lunch. Nap. Taito recorded silence of the cabin for 27 minutes. Being. Writing & slide show. Wine & cider in the bar. Taito got even in poker. We watched half of the Hannibal Lecter film Red Dragon. Then to dinner. Rolled back to the cabin to watch the rest of Red Dragon. Night caps and bed.

Taito wrote a poem: Juha likes soccer, / I like Mercedes. / There is a football in Mercedes. / We have not played it. / We have watched it.

100th day, 30 April, 2012

A jumpy night ferry droning on Baltic Sea towards Helsinki. At 7 a male voice thundered in four languages from central speaker instructions for getting out of the ship in an hour. A familiar feeling: normal life starts to fall upon me after a long journey. Eve of the May Day – one of the biggest drinking parties in Finland. Sun is shining.

Out from the ship at 8.30. At 8.50 we stopped in Herttoniemi for fuel (24,20 l), light check (the left rear upper light doesn’t work) and spare parts shop visit (side mirror), but it was closed. Taito dropped me at my home door at 9.10.

Taito texted at noon that Merc didn’t pass the yearly inspection but the problems were not major ones.

DAY A: 1st and only day of performance, 4 May, 2012, Oldenburg, Katharina's Place

Dear Juha & Taito, I got up, had a shower in my tiny bathroom, tidied up my room and wanted to do the same with the kitchen. About 10 people were having breakfast there so I joined them instead and waited for my guests to arrive. At 11am I started to make more coffee, black tea and herbal tee. Katrin was the first to arrive. Nobody had done the shopping but we actually found every single needed ingredient in my kitchen. The next to arrive were Mira and Annika. We listened to SEESJäRVEN LAULU which Annika had brought and then we ate lots of pancakes - we made half the amount you make for your shows. Elisabeth, Isabel and Mona arrived and also had some pancakes. Mona found the tuba my roommate has in his room so I played it for about 1 minute. We were wondering what had happened to Erlan, but finally he arrived. When Paul got there we ate the last

pancakes, tidied up the kitchen and went to PAZZ Headquarters to tidy up some more. At 4pm we had some coffee. Only Annika and me went back to the office to get some work done. I moved my desk under a window. I can see a tree and a red roof from there.

101st day, 21 May, 2012

Taito called in the morning, that Merc had passed the control, and the test was valid until 30 April, 2013.

Taito picked me at Suvilahti at 15.10. We tanked 30,6 l of diesel. Arrived to South Harbour at 15.30. Got into the ferry at 16.45. It left at 17. Lift didn’t work. We walked a few floors up and found a working lift. Our cabin is 11642. It’s located in the end of the corridor.

We made a short sightseeing in the ship, bought water and made a plan: some lying down, sauna and food. The absolutely fabulous Hevisaurus would perform in the night club at 19.30. Now we go to sauna.

Sauna was good. Especially the Turkish one. Then to eat. As dessert we watched the penalties of Saturday night’s Champions’ League’s final and drank a couple of beers. The best was Brewdog Punk IPA. To bed.

102nd day, 22 May, 2012

We got up at 7.40. Breakfast buffet was like a cattle market. But yoghurt was ok.

The ferry arrived to Stockholm at 9.30. We are waiting for getting ashore. Before us there is a Russian minibus with loud Russian schlager in the air. Driver is cleaning his shoes. Getting ready for the road.

Out of the ship at 9.42. 478 km to go. Two nice thoughts: today we don’t have to smile, neither fry pancakes. In Södertälje we didn’t obey the gps, but chose the northern route via örebro. It’s warm, the sun is shining, the road is red. 1. hour 43 km, sign says it’s 435 km to Gothenburg, gps says it’s 483 km. The stubborn device wants us to make a U turn and go south.

We’re listening to Miles Davis, Kind of Blue. There is a red arm with a hammer up above an anvil pictured on the Eskilstuna coat of arms. Is it the hand of the devil? 2. hour 125 km. Listening to John Zorn’s Astronome. Then Zorn changed into Charlemagne Palestine. 3. hour 203 km. After 220 km we took 36 l of diesel, checked oil, bought coffee & sandwiches. 4. hour 220 km. Listening to Katja Kettu’s novel Midwife, cd 4. 5. hour 290 km, I’m tired, the sun is frying me through the windshield. 6. hour 370 km. A traffic sign that guides you to beach looks extremely inviting, when you are sitting in a hot car. We swam in river Lidan. Water was brown and muddy but fresh. 7. hour 410 km. Anton texted, that the tent had moved few hundred meters to Heurlins plats. The same motorcyclists passed us for the fourth time.

We arrived to the tent at 17.40. (Our average speed was 60 km/h, we saw 15 McDonald’s by the road.) Under the hot sun the tent smells strongly like an old army tent should. It looks good. We must park the Merc by its side, because there is no room in neither ends. We met Anton, Janet and Anders. We made a date with Janet for the next morning at 10. Talked with Anders about possible guests. Anton and Taito took tuba away for the night. I switched on the fridge. Anton walked with us to the hotel, that has a touch of luxury. Now to the bank to check the balance – yippii! some money has arrived! – and then we go to watch Eszter Salamon’s piece. I change pants.

Salamon’s piece was impressing, strong, audio-visual and bodiless! Afterwards we noticed, that our bodies needed food. Festival club’s kitchen had closed. On the other side of the square we found a 230 gram burger and fish and chips.

103rd day, 23 May, 2012, performance nr. 28

I woke up too early but that was not surprise. Laid on the bed, until my phone said ”naks naks”. Anders texted, that he can’t make Father Christmas tonight nor tomorrow, because he had gotten flu. Maybe Friday? Well, a red-nosed Santa would have been just awesome. At breakfast I caught myself watching the blue sky, sea, flapping flags and for a brief moment I hoped, that it was Sunday and we were about to head home.

We met Janet in the front of the festival center at 10. Went to Netto for pancake ingredients. Tonight we’ll try filmjölk. Came back to the tent. There was a flood of people coming, both from the festival and Folkteatern. I went with Anna for thermos flasks and then to Lagerhuset for a rocking chair. Lift was not working and nobody could guide us to basement. Finally we found Pernilla and after some search the rocking chair. Back to the tent, more tuning. Soon it started to look cosy, homely. Anton brought another rocking chair, wider one for Taito. Anna brought three fans, we need them, it’s hot, it’s summer. Went to Lagerhuset for lunch, excellent food. Långa is a fish of white flesh.

Then we shopped at Myrorna, local fleamarket. I bought 4 shirts, Taito 3 lp’s and 2 cups. Continued towards Netto for household paper. Hanna called. I had forgotten, that I had promised her sightseeing in the tent. We did it once we returned from shopping. Facilities here in Gothenburg are just marvellous. Our dressingroom is bigger than our car and much cooler. And they even have a dishwasher! It’s 5 o’clock. Taito’s playing tuba, I start to prepare Santa’s gifts & some other stuff. I took a nap on the floor of the tent. In Mercedes it’s 38°C.

It’s 8 o’clock. Janet brought booklets in English and Finnish. They look nice, especially the string hinges are sympathetic. I realise the reason of my amazement while writing those; the Finnish version is bigger because I used a bigger font. (Now I check it and it seems to be the same, I don’t understand.) Taito’s making pancake batter, I’m cooking coffee and tea water. Quarter past 8 we ran out of gas. Bottle change. Half past 8 Taito starts to fry pancakes, it’s cooler in the tent than outside.

We’d been told that they had sold 19 tickets and maybe some festival people would come. Suddenly at 9 we had a full tent, 45 people. All didn’t fit in. It was hot. Many of them wanted plain water, but most drank coffee or tea. And almost all ate pancakes. (Filmjölk was not so good than kefir.) Serving took half an hour. There was a woman in the front corner of the tent playing with her handy, like at home. Our rocking chairs were nicely high, we could see everyone. Beginning

was smooth. Reading the first part of the diary, I came to understand that we are not in Germany anymore. Funny. Our rhythm kept searching for its right path, we were a bit jumpy. Hot and full tent. But audience was nice, with us. Wooden log was so thin I could cut a circle of it. It was the first time ever! And for the first time Taito couldn’t get his chainsaw working. Big man with his big equipment in trouble; I changed empathetic looks with people, while Taito imitated chainsaw with his voice outside. I had decided to read all the diary chapters in Finnish and in the end I asked, if it was the right decision. The answer was 50–60, that is to say, I don’t know. Cassette was sold with a food voucher for Folkteatern’s café. Taito sold one cd. Janet was Santa and we heard a Swedish christmas carroll. Many people stayed quite long with us after the show, chatting, eating pancakes, visiting the Merc. Feeling of shame because of my inability to talk Swedish.

It was midnight, when we got to the festival club at Folkteatern. Had a couple of beers, talked about the performance & life. Back in the car we drank red wine and ate bread, cheese and nuts. It was not so hot in there anymore.

104th day, 24 May, 2012, performance nr. 29

I woke up at 7.30 and was surprised to see so many people walking on the street, so many cars. Went inside of the theatre and had shower. The sun is shining.

Had breakfast artist talk at 9.30. We were less than ten people, sitting around a table at the festival center. Lisa was the official discussion moderator who wanted to do it in informal way. I felt sweat dripping under my shirt. After we stayed in the café for a moment writing & surfing in the internet. A Swedish radio reporter came and asked whether I was related to Nils-Aslak Valkeapää, whom he had once interviewed. Nope.

Washing the dishes, fixing the chainsaw, cleaning. My eyes are tired. I rested them watching beautiful ankles, while having lunch at the festival club. After lunch we went searching for G#-guitar for Taito. Found the shop someone recommended to us last night, but they didn’t

have it. He called another shop and they had it. We walked there. And found the miniature guitar. While making a deal the seller told us an amazing story. He said his grandfather had been Finnish, Toivo Partanen, owner of Kämp Hotel in Helsinki and police chief in the 40’s. A good friend of Orson Welles. Welles came to Helsinki in ’48 or ’49 to be a beauty contest judge. He came with his own yacht. After the contest he had offered to take girls with him to Hollywood. Three or four had left with him. Five years went by and nobody heard of the girls. Then a couple of Finnish sailors sailed to Riad, Saudi Arabia. They walked in the city and saw a big bunch of women in burkhas around a fountain, singing. Suddenly they hear some women singing in Finnish, please, come back tomorrow with your whole crew and rescue us back to Finland. So they did. Orson Welles had sold the girls as slaves to Arabs. Amazing story. Taito ended up buying a G#-guitar, a Vox Mini 3 amplifier, a cable and an extra set of strings. After that we visited Hemköp for kefir. We bought cleaning liquid too for our induction cooker, but it didn’t help too much.

We went to see Ampe Bros’ show that has even longer title than ours. We met Pernilla there, who said that they’ve sold four tickets to our show and maybe four others are coming. And she’s trying to get us a musician guest too. For tomorrow they’ve sold 25 tickets. The bros’ show was quite stupid and simple performance of brotherhood and friendship. You must trust the other, they said. I liked it. Then we ran to the boat. We could have made it walking too.

Came to the tent at 19.30. Ate some bread and started to make coffee & tea water. Taito started to fry pancakes at 20.30. Karen came with tickets and diaries. She told us the same news Pernilla had told before. Finally we had 18 people in the audience. The smallest was Hjalmar who slept during the whole show in his carriage in the corner. Nice, warm, attentive crowd. We talked some Swedish in the beginning! Smooth start. There were not many tea drinkers and all of them drank camomile tea, a rare thing, I would say! Sara and Lova knew more than others, because they had seen the show in the previous night, and they kept laughing on some stuff beforehand. I cut a cute wooden disk that I put under the milk jug. Taito got his saw working. Burkha-cassette

was sold with 4 euros, Lova made Santa, whom people sang a different Swedish carroll than last night. People stayed around after the show quite a while, eating pancakes and visiting the car, chatting. After they had gone, we put off the lights, closed the tent and car and went for a couple of beers to the festival club, where we sat in Daniel’s container, chatting with Anna, Johan, Diego, Joakim and Damian. Ampe bros’ came to say hello too. Back in the car we finished the red wine and ate some bread and cheese.

105th day, 25 May, 2012, performance nr. 30

We woke at 5.20 when somebody knocked two times on the car. Taito saw a glimpse of a backpack. Gone. Sleep and rest till 9. Shower. To the festival center for Ampe bros’ breakfast talk but they were not there. Instead they were talking about Book Burning. Coffee and writing the diary. It seems that it’s going to be a hot day.

Cleaning, washing dishes. A man came claiming, that we should move the tent, it’s his parking lot. I guided him to the festival center. Now Taito is testing the guitar & amp he bought yesterday. After we walked to Kungstorget to watch performance art, Live Action Festival’s 7th edition. Hot place. Annette was there. And a man was lying on his stomach on the pavement, writing onto it with coal: Skrik, Var tysta, Scream, Be quiet. Now and then somebody asked him, if he was alright. We walked back via Hemköp, took kefir to the car’s fridge and went for lunch to Lagerhuset. Strömning tasted delicious.

In the afternoon I took a nap and did yoga in the tent, while Taito delved deep into the jungle of his new old hobby, photography. Then he concentrated in cleaning the induction cooker & pan.

I went to see Miet Warlop’s piece. She knows how to make a colourful mess. Taito stayed in the car meditating. 37 sold tickets for tonight’s show. It’s 20 past 8 now. Taito’s playing colourful smart game with his smart phone. What makes it challenging is that Taito is colour blind. Now the game is over. He starts to fry pancakes.

Before the show we were afraid that all the people come sharply at 9 and we must hurry in serving pancakes, coffee & tea. There was also a biggish group of teenagers flooding into our tent, and we wondered, what direction would the group choose. The both worries were futile. Somehow the timing was perfect and the teenagers great, with us. I talked more Swedish in the beginning than yesterday, but didn’t always understand the answers. Tonight most of the audience drank coffee and all the tea drinkers wanted green tea. Taito started with a song he hadn’t sung for a long time. I liked it. Then Taito went away. I talked, how magnificent life an artist lives. Gave the wooden disc I had sawed to the audience to sniff. Taito did his macho sawing and people were happy, lots of smiling faces. Tuba was lovely. Burkha rocked. In the auction teenagers put their money together and won it with 82 crowns. I made some cover art. Anton did Santa and people sang ”Sommaren är kort” for him. A teenager boy hugged us both. Quickly people visited Merc and were away.

At the festival club we had a couple of beers with Pieter. The another Pieter continued his praise he had started already in the tent. He said, that they should stop all the Belgian theatres for one year and show only our piece there. It would lessen economical, mental and political crisises in Belgium.

We came back to the car at 1.20. It seems that the car and tent are real pee magnets, there are little yellow lakes and rivers all over.

106th day, 26 May, 2012, performance nr. 31

I woke up at 6.30 but continued lying on the bed until 10. Taito was snoring heavily. Waking up, he said that I can snore too. It is a draw then. Shower. Breakfast. Then I went to listen to discussion on Miet Warlop’s Mystery Magnet. They used the Das Arts feedback method, that was introduced by Barbara and Karim. Barbara promised to come to see our show tonight. Superb. Especially because I just heard that they’ve sold only 4 tickets. I asked Birgitta to be our Santa, let’s see what happens. Back to the tent, where Taito had cleaned. I put dishes into dishwasher and we went searching for birthday present for my son and gifts for Taito’s daughters.

I’m waiting for Taito outside of a toy shop. A machine in the corner of the shop is blowing soap bubbles. A small Japanese boy is chasing them. Tiny skateboard shop I went to was a big disappointment, mainly clothes, no hardware. Ampe bros’ walked by looking after a place to eat. Taito came out with two big bags. We ate Lebanese microwaved tahini salmon. It was better than it sounds like. Walked to the festival center, took a photo of Till’s shoes in front of the festival sign and had coffee. Then to the hotel for siesta & writing.

At 6 we headed back towards the tent. Stopped for ice cream. It’s a hot afternoon. Suddenly I see Riina walking towards us, waving. It was a nice meeting. In the tent some yoga & preparations. Went to the theatre for water; through inner speakers I could hear people applauding to Gob Squad’s Before Your Very Eyes. They start to load their truck. It’s 20.10.

Taito started to fry pancakes at 20.35. At 21 we had 21 people in the tent. Taito sang a lullaby for a kid who is waiting for her father come home, and father’s bringing shoes for her. Once again I told how it all began. Sawed a nice wooden disc and gave it to the people. Taito did his tricks. Burkha-cassette was sold with 40 crowns. And Birgitta made a giggling Santa, whom others sang beautifully. After the show we chatted for a while with Barbara & a guy. Then I took dishes to dishwasher and we went for a drink and say farewell to people at the festival club. Back to the tent we packed the car. Finished at 1. Exhausted.

107th day, 27 May, 2012

Woke up at 8. Wrote a bit. Skyped with Kaja. Breakfast. To the tent before 10. We left at 10.10, 478 km to go. After 4 km we tanked 29,81 l. We are listening to Katja Kettu’s Midwife, cd n:r 6. We passed a caravan. The 1st hour 59 km, the 2nd 137 km. Came to Vättern’s coast, scenic road. The wind is blowing on the lake, it’s dark blue. The 3rd hour 218 km. Stopped for fuel in Mantorp. In the yard of Statoil our tiny car didn’t fit amongst Swedes, who were buzzing like flies around. Preem’s pumps didn’t work. Finally we tanked in St1, 27,62 l. We ate bread, butter & cookies in the yard of a shopping

paradise. Made coffee. Checked oil. The 4th hour 253 km, the 5th 303 km. Swedish roads are full of Volvos & Saabs plus a few shiny old American cars and motorcycles. The 6th hour 386 km. Midwife ended, an exciting story, great writing. We hit traffic jam 30 km before Stockholm, it’s 16.55. The 7th hour 453 km. After half an hour circling in the harbour we found check-in, I don’t feel especially smart; I don’t know, how Taito’s feeling, I don’t ask. We are there by the boat at 18.04 and got in at 18.10. (Our average speed was once again approx. 60 km/h, we counted 10 McDonald’s by the road.) This time our cabin has a window, to the inner promenade of the ship.

We lie in the cabin for a good hour. Go to buffet to eat. Eat too much. Well, you must, it’s so expensive. Crawl back to the cabin. Watch a part of the series Street on Taito’s laptop. Fall asleep.

108th day, 28 May, 2012

In the morning we get up. After breakfast I stay in the cabin writing, Taito goes for a smoke & shopping.

We arrived to Helsinki at 13. Drove to Suvilahti, tanked 34,83 l, Taito continued towards Kantele, I took my bags and walked home.

109th day, 15 June, 2012

I left home at 4 pm. Bought an ice cream at Café Sävy and walked to Pasila Station. 16:46 train to Mäntsälä. Taito called, that he’s coming but late: Rane’s Transit had broken and Taito had towed him home. Taito came 10 minutes late.

In Kantele Helmi tried her new bike Taito had brought. Potatoes were cooked. We ate. After dinner I went to watch Ukraine–France with the girls, but the match had been postponed because of thunder storm. Helmi asked, why the stadium didn’t have a roof.

Taito cooked rhubarb juice. Finally the football match started. We watched it for a while. Then the girls brushed their teeth, and I read Helmi about a sparrow, that understood the meaning of beautiful feathers just after she had visited paradise island.

The girls fell asleep and we went out to put rocking chairs and tv to the car. We tested the tv at the yard. When it got electricity, it began to smoke badly, and we pulled it off the socket. It made quite ok mosquito repellent. Luckily there was Taito’s mother’s old tv in the house, that functioned. Into the car. Now Taito’s bottling rhubarb juice. I’m watching Sweden–England. And the sauna starts to be ready.

110th day, 16 June, 2012, performance nr. 32

I got up half past 8. The girls were watching Spongebob or something like that in the neighboring room. Taito mixed raw porridge in the kitchen. The sun was shining.

We checked oil and started at 9:45. 148 km to go. The first stop at Taito’s studio: some cd’s to sell at Taitostore. I’m waiting in the car: birds are singing, mosquitoes whining, flies buzzing, wind blowing. The second stop in Mäntsälä for chainsaw fuel. Taito bought the fuel allright but he bought also chain oil, brush saw harness, file and gear lubricant. The first hour 40 km. Taito missed the Ridasjärvi crossing and gps got lost, after some tuning we were on the road again. The second hour 107 km. In Viiala at 12:20. Riku, Matti and Jussi were waiting for us. And the biggest tent ever, 6 m x 12,5 m. The roof was brigth green, blue and gray.

It’s 15:40. The tent starts to look home. We ate lunch in the neighboring tent, the harps’ café. Now we’re preparing for food store. A surprise guest: Jorma with his camera. Ate ice cream at market square. On the other side of the deserted market square sat two men, chatting. One had a walker, the other a 1200 cc BMW motorcycle. We heard, that the BMW had visited the Eiffel Tower in the previous summer. We snapped a photo of Till’s shoes by the Viiala county statue.

Final preparations before the show. People started to come at half past 6. Quarter to 7 came two angels. One of them said, that our pancakes are heavenly. Before the show truly began we had other visitors too: a black cat, who wanted a pancake, and four girls, who drank rhubarb juice, ate pancakes and left for their plays. A man peeped in, asking,

if it was a beer tent. No, it’s a rhubarb tent, people answered. Taito’s juice became the warm evening’s hit, and people changed recipes. Finally we had 25 people in the tent. (Outi was there too!) Taito sang a longish sad song and a short merry one. I told, how it all began. Then I told the ”Self-portrait as a subsidised artist”, which described both the past and the future but not the present moment. It was luxury to speak in Finnish. The sawing sessions were strong as usual, like ”Waiting for my moose” too. With his electric bass Matti joined Taito’s tuba, and auction gave the biggest money ever – 20 euros! Riku was a Santa, who wanted his coffee extra strong. No problem. People sang him two songs. After the show the tent disappeared like a lightning. We packed the car. At ten we drove to one of the angels’ place for supper. At eleven we hit the road.

Stopped for fuel after 8 km, 30,66 l. The first hour 65 km. Stopped for pee. The second hour 121 km. Taito’s tired; home is so near but so far away. We stopped three times during the last 30 km. Arrived home at 1:50.

111th day, 17 June, 2012

I got up at 8:30. The girls and Taito watched children programme on the tv. I had coffee and yoghurt with cranberries. After breakfast I took dirty dishes from Merc and washed them. Had an espresso. Taito took shower. We took rocking chairs and telly from the car. Taito and family brought me to Tikkurila. R train to Pasila. At home at 12:30. It’s raining.

112th day, 4 July, 2012

I’m already in Rakvere and finished my first performance here, Talk to me. It was a good show. Taito is on his way here, driving alone. He should arrive in half an hour.

Taito arrived at 20:20. We parked the car next to the tent by the pond in the park and left for the theatre café. Taito had started his journey on Tuesday morning 3 am from Haikola, Russian Carelia, arrived at

home to Kantele at midnight and left for Rakvere on Wednesday afternoon.

In theatre café we mingled with Kaja, Hyde, Mart, Tiina, Davis, Pieter, Laura, Ricarda, Priit, Maike, Taavet, Inga and lots of other people until 1 am. Then we finished the Austrian brandy in the car and headed for bed. Pity to say, but this happened before Miisu and Sova started to fry chanterelles.

113th day, 5 July, 2012, performance nr. 33

We got up at 8:30. Ate breakfast together with Kaja and Kalle. It rained only slightly when we walked to the food store. Bought kefir, milk, eggs, flour, butter, bread, smoked cheese, oil, sausage, nectarines, peaches and water. Arrived to the tent before 10. Started to set up our home. Our assistant Anne-Liis came to ask, what she should bring. Soon we had rag carpets, benches, chairs, television and thermos jugs. She brought us a RCA cable too, because ours was too short as usual. We tried to take electricity from the car in order to check the tv set but only succeeded in burning some fuses. Now it’s half past noon, and raining a bit. We are still missing electricity and are planning to go to the festival office & theatre house for money, lunch and water.

While we were having our lunch, electricity had arrived into the tent. It’s 15:15, raining, all the preparations except pancake batter & coffee done. Laura visited us and we marveled at Merc’s autobahn qualities. There is a wildman from Stone Age walking around in the park. It’s time for a short nap. Taavi had visited us during our nap. He came again in 15 minutes and he played some music with Taito in the tent. Today we found out that it’s possible to bring video signal from car to tv with one cable. Before we needed two cables for that.

Luckily people came gradually, I felt like a squirrel only when serving the very last coffees, teas and pancakes. Peppermint tea was tonight’s hit. All the cups were used. At one moment I realised that it was quite silent in the tent, that people were not talking as usual. Taito sang a sad song + another saddish song. But the latter was about a man

called Mollberg and I had not heard it before. It made me smile. Taavi was our musician guest and they played a nice impro with Taito. My burkha rocked as usual and auction ended at 6,29 €, Renzo won it with help of other people. Artist, that is me, was given an extra 2 €. Anne-Liis made a lovely Santa, who made the audience to sing twice. We almost ran out of christmas presents. After the show Taito sold some cd’s and I talked with Christoph and Per. Then I ran to the performance of Talk to me. It was a nice one. Taito sat in the audience. Afterwards shower & festival club. Lots of talking with sympathetic people. It’s 2:30. We are about to hit the bed.

114th day, 6 July, 2012, performance nr. 34

We woke up at 10. It was quite warm inside of the car. The sun was shining. Park workers were busy with their machines we could hear very well, but not see. Cooked coffee, ate bread and smoked cheese. While we were having our breakfast, there was a photo session outside: a 3-year old princess in pink dress posed for grandfather’s camera. After bfast I called Anne-Liis and she promised to take care of our dishes. (If we ever need a tour manager, we know whom to call.) We borrowed Kaja’s car and drove to Viru-Nigula, made sightseeing and had espresso. Bought kefir, eggs, flour, water and tin-fish from the village shop. Drove back to Rakvere.

At the tent we noticed, that Anne-Liis had washed all our dishes. Yippee! The tent looks good. Ate bread and fish for lunch. Pietu and Tanja came and set their tent up. Erki came by and marveled at Merc’s white steering wheel. I brought water from the theatre café and cheek-kissed with Amelie. Now I start to make coffee. It’s almost 4 o’clock. It’s hot.

And it became hotter. People appeared gradually and serving flowed nicely. Like yesterday, we had a full tent of 50 people. Today most of them drank water. Taito sang a song of father, who is working abroad and bringing gifts for his children. I told how it all began. People were with us, listening attentively but reacting modestly. Taavet didn’t show up as a musician guest, because he had to replace Kalle in Spordikirik. Burkha cassette was sold to Elina with 5 € + a normal cd from Taito’s

collection. Priit made the first barefooted Santa ever. Anne-Ly led us to sing ”Kükita, kükita” for him and he was happy. Our liquorice brand changed from Fazer to Panda. After the show most of the people ran away to catch the next performances. Anne-Liis took care of the dishes. We went to Virma to eat.

After dinner we started walking towards warehouse for the Japanese performance. On our way I bought an ice cream and Taito a few sterilised filter cartridges for their Laica jug. They were so cheap. Enar stopped and we hopped into his car. In the car he asked, if Taito could take some pyro stuff from him to Finland. They made a deal. We got in to see the show. Kind of small piece inside of a big space. Actors looked like puppets. (Later in the night I heard some criticism for Talk to me, that we perform too small, personal stories in a huge space, that the gap between stories and space is too big. The critic continued that we can do it in our tent, because it is homely, intimate, small. Still later I heard somebody wondering, what it is with these personal stories... ) Afterwards we spent time with Kaja, Krõõt, Renzo, Ališa, Revo, Pietu, Tanja, Tilmann, Sodja (she showed me the pen she had won in our auction in Riga, saying that she uses it for calming herself down), Terike, Per (we talked about Euro 2012 competition), Gundega, Eva, Davis, Tuomas (he has just arrived but seen already five performances), Riku and Jarkko (they had arrived that day too but seen only three shows). We finished the night talking with Robin. He had a great idea. Since we and Forced Entertainment had performed at the same festivals already three times now without seeing each other’s pieces, we could perform simultaneously in neighboring rooms, what we thought or had heard about them. Gundega said she would buy it for Homo Novus 2013. It was 4 am. The sun had risen.

115th day, 7 July, 2012, performance nr. 35

I woke up at 9:15. Got up at 10. It was hot in the car. The sun was up and shiny. Time to make some coffee. Pietu and Tanja joined us for breakfast. More coffee. Then I went to buy household paper, water and sugar cubes, for ants had found our sugar in the tent. It’s hot hot.

At noon we played the traditional football match Romantics vs. Cynics. Romantics won for the second time. I missed two penalties. Only one Cynic got injured, breaking her little toe. Then we had a quick lunch in the theatre café. It’s 3 o’clock. Taito is making pancake batter, I’m cooking coffee.

Audience started to arrive smoothly and nicely one by one. Taito kept frying pancakes, I didn’t have to jump around like a squirrel. It was a black coffee afternoon, full house third time in a row. Taito started with a sad song and continued with a lullaby. I spreaded manuals to people and told how it all began. Today I realised, why they laugh after Taito finishes chainsawing: my sawing takes five minutes, Taito does the same in five seconds, it makes people laugh. But Waiting for my moose didn’t make them laugh this time. Krõõt danced with her arms while Taito played tuba. Henri won the auction with five € with some help of other people. Peeter’s Santa made people sing Kuusepuu, Tannenbaum. Then it was over. We took everything down peacefully. Tanja came and reported on Forced Entertainment’s Quizoola while we were waiting for ladder. It didn’t come but a tall guy took our lamps down. Now we are ready for the evening.

It was a nice summer evening. Some food, wine, beer. We saw half an hour of Quizoola, gave some of Davis’s 7 promises and danced to Pietu’s music. Dropped to bed around 4.

116th day, 8 July, 2012

We woke up at 10. Went for the final breakfast to the theatre café. Taito was already there, the Merc tanked. He had quick coffee and headed for Tallinn and home. I drove to Viru-Nigula with Kaja and Ricarda.

117th day, 11 September, 2012

I guess Taito has already started our tenth journey towards Bastard, Trondheim. I’m waiting for him to pick me up, wondering if it will be our last trip.

Taito picked me up at Suvilahti at 15:40. Now it’s 4 o’clock, we are waiting for driving into the ferry. We got in half past 4. Now we’re waiting for the dinner.

With full stomachs we go to the ferry’s shop. We stood in front of DVD shelf and chose Avatar, instead of From Dusk til Dawn and Cold Mountain. Bought also red wine, chocolate and a small Fernet Branca for digestive.

Avatar had a great beginning; a legless guys gets his legs back. The end was also nice, because it was happy. Only in the middle there happened some not so amazing things. Then we went for a couple of beers. Back in the cabin we had the original idea, that a Westener hates life where nothing happens. (I’m writing this, while we’re returning from Trondheim, and ”hates” feels a bit too much, perhaps ”is afraid of” fits better.)

118th day, 12 September, 2012

We got up at 8. Got out of the boat at 9:40. 789 km to go. 1. hour 44 km. 2. hour 128 km. Two quiet men in the car, wearing earplugs. Engine makes big noise. 3. hour 212 km. At 12:50 we fueled 35,66 l. Added also some motor oil and had coffee & sandwiches. 5. hour 330 km. The Northern half of Sweden reminds of Finland: long roads in forest and no other cars. But occasional houses are bigger and wealthier. Like in Finland there are flea markets here and there and signs ”Berries bought”. 6. hour 406 km, 7. hour 486 km. 37,86 l + oil check + coffees & sandwiches. 9. hour 575 km. We stopped by Åre to wash the windshield. The sun was bright. 10. hour 634 km. We passed a moose farm ”Kiss a Moose”. At 21:25 we crossed the Norwegian border. Four minutes later a moose crossed the road in front of us. Good reactions, Taito! 11. hour 710 km, 12. hour 765 km. We arrived to the tent just after 10. Parked the car next to it, succeeded putting it under the tent’s tube construction. Then it stopped and didn’t start again. Let it be.

We took our stuff and walked to hotel. In the lobby we met Verk Produksjoner’s Saila and Fredrik, like in May in Gothenburg; they

were leaving and we arriving. After checking in we had our third sandwich of the day. Then we hopped into the festival bar at Avant Garden. Met Annika, Anniken (she said that we couldn’t park the car there where we had parked it, we had permission only from tomorrow, we said that the car is inside of the walls and she became happy, no problem then, we have rented that spot), the rest of Oblivia, Janek, Per and Anders, whose 40th birthday had just started. It’s one o’clock. Bedtime.

119th day, 13 September, 2012, performance nr. 36

I woke up at 8. Outside of the hotel window the city seems gray, it has rained. Now to breakfast everyone we met yesterday praised. We came to the tent at ten. Anniken and Terje joined us soon. And Ingrid. (It looks like Norway is one of those countries with strict regulations concerning public performances.) Then they left for stuff to Avant Garden. We stayed wondering how to settle down. And I made a toilet deal with the neighbouring Radisson SAS hotel.

Yep, local regulations are strict. They want us to move the car because of the stone pavement. But the car is already there. It has dripped some oil but won’t drip more, because the engine is cold. Anyway, we have to move it. It is easier to say it than to do it. Merc doesn’t want to start. Taito must do some magic and he gets his hands black. They don’t look like pancake chef’s hands. But his magic worked and the car is moved. We continued making the tent our home and voilà, miracle happened again – it is our home! Terje even put plexiglas to the windows. And the floor is beautiful, gray stones. ”My home is my castle.” Then Anniken came back and said that we must make pancake batter in Avant Garden’s kitchen, or it is not approved. And there will be two firemen in the show, although we are not using gas. Anyway, we are eating Indian for lunch and life is quite ok.

Back to the tent via Rema; milk, yoghurt, apples, paprika, butter, cheese and some herring. We wanted to buy fiskepudding but didn’t dare. Video cable doesn’t work. Storli goes for a new one. It’s naptime, 17:20.

Taito started to fry pancakes at 7. Some of the Bastard staff were already on the spot. And Håkki too. Coffee & fresh pancakes for them. First real audience arrived as well. They came nicely, gradually. Finally we had a nice bunch of 20 people with us. Their chattering and smiling brought a summer into the tent. Taito’s song changed it into autumn. And it started to rain too. I gave manuals (they look like real books!) to people and we carried on. It was not too cold inside. People were reacting quite easily, Taito’s bear & moose hunter made them laugh and giggle. I left and Håkki told a story, where his grandfather played a major role. The burkha impro was best ever, and cassette was sold with record price of 200 NOK. The winner actually had only 190 crowns but Per helped him with a tennie. Then Per went away in order to reappear as Santa. He made us sing and dance. Then I told how it all was and we said farewell. Smell of last performances in the air.

After the show we sat in the car for a couple of mugs of red wine, before we joined Oblivia and Per for a dinner in a fancy restaurant. Good fish! Annika said, that she likes her life where not too many things are happening, because it’s comfortable. She joined us for a night cap. It was raining hard, water was dripping through the skylight.

120th day, 14 September, 2012, performance nr. 37

I woke up at 8. The sun was shining bright. Held my eyes closed for an hour. Went for pee to the hotel. Taito woke up too. We made coffee, ate yoghurt and bread. There were two small lakes on the roof of the tent. Poured them down. Otherwise it looked quite ok. Anniken, Roger and Terje came too. They wondered on Taito’s rocking chair, which had broken last night under him. We will change the chairs tonight. We cleaned a bit and shot a couple of photos of Till’s shoes by the sailors’ statue. It’s quarter past 11. We are going easy.

We went for a walk. Visited art museum, which is a beautiful house. Ate pizza, which was not too bad. Meanwhile Terje had been repairing the blue rocking chair. He had brought some carpets too. Roger called that he’ll bring some pillows, they are gray, is it a

problem for us. I said, they can be of whatever colour. Now we take power nap and afterwards we go to Janek’s show.

Janek’s Margareta was a sweet session of combined detective work & story-telling. A human being’s life is a mystery. Then Taito made pancake batter and we came to the car. Cleaned the tent a bit again and made the final preparations. Janek came with his projector and they had a run-through with Taito while I was busy boiling water and cooking coffee. It’s raining.

At show-time we had fifteen people in the tent, a sympathetic crowd once again. They sat quietly smiling. Taito started with the usual duo of a sad and a merrier song. We watched two videos, Subway Journey and Leg Journey! I told how it all begun and Taito fried more pancakes. I told my story as a subdisized artist so fast, that Taito was not ready by the steering wheel. Well, we watched him preparing with amusement. I was honest and told people that it was a mistake. Then I went to saw and after me Taito. Bear’s entrance charms always. Waiting for my moose went smoothly and we made more pancakes. Taito played tuba and I went out in order to return to burkha impro that was fantastic! The highest bid was 50 crowns plus five chewing gums. Taito’s shop got really excited, because suddenly the wind blew strong and harsh, wanting to tear the tent into the air, and he was given three tickets, two adults and one child, to Helsinki Zoo. He began to ponder, now we must obtain a child. Then it was Janek’s time: he told quite an amazing story from 2005, when I and he had met briefly in Szcecin at a theatre festival. One of the Finns had forgotten his suitcase there, but it was not me. I think I know who he was. While he was telling the story, he projected an 8-millimeter film onto a white blanket Taito was holding. After that Jan Ivar’s Santa entered. He was good. People stayed for a while chatting. We cleaned a bit and left for Avant Garden.

Mette Edvardsen’s Black was simple and stupid, I’d like to say strong and fragile at the same time. Afterwards we drank a couple of beers in the festival bar and talked with Svante, Helen, Per, Mette & some

others. Back at the car we ate a bit, drank some red wine and fell asleep.

121st day, 15 September, 2012, performance nr. 38

We got up at 10:30. It was raining slightly. Made coffee, ate yoghurt and bread. Made plan for the day. First shower at Avant Garden’s cellar. It was great. Stole three bananas from Mette’s dressing room.

Taito wanted to walk a bit. We ended at flea market. Bought a colourful thermos flask, so we can make some coffee for the road. A Somali woman congratulated me, for I had found so beautiful thermos. Taito bought gifts for his family. Then we visited Rema for road food. We even bought fiskekakor, fish cakes. Taito went to Avant Garden’s kitchen to make pancake batter. I came to the car and started preparing the last show. First I found a wallet and Roger’s envelope I had given him last night. Then I found out that television didn’t work. Called Roger and he promised to fix it. It’s 3 o’clock. Taito came and we ate a couple of boiled eggs. Now we take 15-minute nap. No, we take not. Tron came to talk about his appearance in our show.

It’s half past 3. Roger brought us a new telly Hanna had found in her basement. Roger also called the wallet’s owner, who became happy. Taito starts to fry pancakes. Everything should be ready.

At 4 o’clock we had 30 people and a dog in the tent. A beautiful beginning full of smiles and calm silence. Taito sang a sad song and a short merrier one. I told how it all began all those years ago. Then Taito left and I told about my happy past, present time & future. After two sawing sessions we waited for the moose. More pancakes, tuba and Tron’s rap. People applauded. My burkha was ok, the cassette was bought by Per with 50 Swedish crowns and five euros. After video clip Anniken’s Santa entered the tent. Once again we heard a Norwegian christmas carroll and people got their presents. I concluded the day as usual.

Terje and his companion started to take the tent down, Anniken & her crew took Avant Garden’s stuff away. We packed the car and ate the

fish cakes. Good meal. We left Trondheim at 19:30. 790 km to go. After 15 minutes and three km we took 42,72 l of diesel into the car’s tank and 5 to jerry can. GPS guides us to a different route, which looks like a real small road on our old map. Let’s adventure! It’s raining and it’s dark. 1. hour 41 km, 2. hour 100 km. Maybe we chose a wrong road, but it’s not raining anymore. At 21:35 we stopped for ten minutes. Taito fixed the hose of air filter, which he suddenly remembered he left loose. We drank coffee. The beautiful thermos doesn’t keep coffee extremely hot. The first moose of the night. It’s reindeer area. 3. hour 143 km. It’s 23:00. We stopped for a moment again. After 175 km we fueled 27 l and checked oil. 4. hour 184 km and we came to Sweden. We keep tiredness away talking about the next project. Maybe Taito could take apart and put back again a Lada engine. I could bake a chocolate cake by the same table. Would those two acts describe different worlds? Then what? 5. hour 251 km. We stopped to sleep at 00:50, after 5 hours 20 minutes and 273 km. Our average speed was raging 51,2 km/h.

122nd day, 16 September, 2012

We woke up at six. It was cold in the car. The sky was clear. The sun is rising. We make coffee, eat bread. Early morning traffic jam: three cars appear from the direction we are leaving for soon. We started at half past six. The car engine died but started again right away, good. Härliga Härjedalen around us looks great. We drove through magnificent scenery in the night. 517 km to go. Norwegian rivers were narrow and murmuring, Swedish ones are wide and lazy. The second moose. 1. hour 82 km. We continued developing the new show: Let’s lead exhaust fumes into a transparent ball, that rises up. The cooling and air system of tuba and/or other intsruments. The engine as hurdy-gurdy or dough mixer. At eight we passed a Lada Niva with trailer. If we cooked more and the engine would use rape oil and ethanol, that people eat and drink too. Taito said, that ethanol may cause some problems in some theatres.

The third moose, a dead one this time, in a ditch, guts out. Or did I imagine it? I began the day drinking one of Terje’s carrots, a 2 cl

bottle of Underberg. We passed the central point of Sweden in Kårböle. 2. hour 159 km. We passed a caravan. After 174 km we fueled 26 l. 3. hour 220 km. The sun is shining on a blue sky. It’s warm. We passed a tractor. 4. hour 298 km, pause at 10:55, 5. hour 350 km. We passed a trailer. I fell asleep for a moment. 6. hour 438 km. We passed a trailer again. After 477 km we fueled 26,18 l, checked oil. 7. hour 491 km. We arrived to check-in gate at 14:10, an hour too early. Ours is the first car of the line. It took 13 hours from Trondheim, thus the average speed was 60,8 km/h.

We entered the ferry at 16:30. In cabin I wrote the diary, while Taito explored the secrets of district heating. We went to sauna, changed clothes and went to eat. After meal we wanted to watch ”Tinker, tailor, sailor, spy”. It seemed an interesting film, but a dark film on a small screen in a dark cabin made us to fall asleep in 15 minutes.

123rd day, 17 September, 2012

We woke up by alarm clock at 8:30. Had breakfast. We drove out from the ferry at 10. Taito parked the Merc at Töölö square and left for a seminar. I took tram home.

124th day, 21 November, 2012

We had agreed upon emptying of the Merc in November. Today is the day. We met with Taito at Helsinki railway station around noon and hopped into the Z train. In Mäntsälä we changed for Hiace and drove to Kohiseva for lunch. Then we checked quickly the new house. Taito and family have moved into own house, though moving is still under process. They had moved to the old dairy just before our premiere in autumn 2010. We drove to the dairy where the Merc was waiting for us. We packed the Hiace too. Taito drove the Merc, me the Hiace. We parked the Merc by the new house and drove to food store with Hiace. Bought ingredients for trendy avocado pasta. Unfortunately avocados were bit hard, and I didn’t let Taito buy the last basil, because it looked bit used. But pasta tasted good, especially because we found red wine in cupboard. And nobody lost appetite because of my Movember moustache.

After food we emptied the Hiace, but didn’t have power for emptying of the Merc. Instead we went there to chill. It was damp in there, but gas heating started nicely and we found red wine that we had bought on our trip to Trondheim. Inner warmth. We pondered, if that was our last trip, and we became bit sad. After we had chilled enough, we heated the sauna. The new house has got such a superb sauna, that you don’t miss the swimming pool of the old dairy. We finished the day by a few drinks and eating fish sandwiches in the kitchen amongst this and that, that keep searching for their right places in the new spot.

125th day, 22 November, 2012

I woke up with hang-over. Café au lait and Turkish yoghurt with icy blueberries and walnuts tasted great, but they didn’t cure my headache. We carried the stuff from the Merc to the attic: my sneakers, bookshelf, radiator, sheet, sleeping bags, blankets, stool, table with wheels, cd suitcase & box, tv table, lumberjack’s equipment, bear, Playstation, liquorice tin, diary collection, bulbs, mic stands, induction cooker, rocking chair rags, round carpet, guitar amp, kettle, trash can, batter buckets, guitar & stand, frying pans, saw, cassette player, gas cooker & cartridges, feltpens, football, two books, dishes, sawing blocks, t-shirts, burkha, Santa’s equipment, foot lamp, coffee pot, pancake bowl, water cans. Till’s mouldered shoes ended up into trash can. Taito chopped an old rocking chair for oven. Mouse had made a nest inside of a fleece blanket under the bench. Taito saw the mouse later in the car. We destroyed its home. Once the Merc was empty I laid down for a minute, leaving Taito taking care of the car’s toilet. I thought that it can’t have a positive effect on me. Taito managed like a man by himself.

Lunch in Kohiseva cured my headache. We drove to the dairy and packed the Hiace full. Back to the new house where we emptied the car. It was raining. Finally we took dryer cabinet to Ilona’s workshop. Then we went for Lempi to kindergarten and for Helmi to school. Pia came to keep eye on girls and we drove to the dairy once again. This time for the washing machine, a big box full of everything and kid’s garden swing. And clean clothes from the dryer. Back at the new

home Taito put fire both in the house oven and sauna. Some knäckebröd and sandwiches. We took girls with us to sauna. On the stones of the oven, Taito and girls heated a delicacy, sausages. It’s quiet now; clean and well-fed girls went to bed, Taito’s reading for Lempi and I’m writing this. We must remember to switch off Merc’s heating and close the skylight. We remembered that and at the same time made the coming night more difficult for our pal mouse, setting there three traps into the car.

126th day, 23 November, 2012

Wake up at 7. Instant coffee, Lempi into her overall and out. First to Lempi’s kindergarten, then to Mäntsälä station and Z train to Helsinki. Taito to Music House to teach, me to home, since I’m a free artist.

In the evening Taito texted that the mouse couldn’t resist the trap under the table.

127th day, 29 April, 2013

Taito texted that the Merc passed the yearly inspection clearly without remarks!

128th day, 17 May, 2013

In the morning 9 o’clock bus to Porvoo, and from there with another bus to Pukkila, where I arrived at 11:15. Taito texted that let’s meet at Kohiseva, that is to say, we had an early lunch. After lunch we wondered at renovation in kitchen and bathroom and the wild wallpaper girls had chosen for their room. Then we drove the Merc to the front door and packed the performance stuff in the car. The lumberjack’s equipment, tv and some small this-and-that need to be packed later.

After packing we lifted Taito’s beautiful Carelian rowing boat from the shed onto the trailer. Taito had bought it just before his father’s death and the first daughter’s birth, so the boat has not yet touched water. It has spent some eight years indoors. Maybe next summer...

It was four o’clock and time to get the girls home. With the Merc. We visited the groceries too for supper ingredients and ice cream.

Ilona came. We went for audio equipment from Taito’s studio for the next morning municipal happening at the marketsquare. Once we came back, Ilona left for blues in Kohiseva. We stayed cooking. Or Taito cooked, while I played jail with the girls; I was lying on pillows in the corner of the room and was not allowed to move. Then the dinner was ready. After dinner I read for the girls, and Taito heated sauna. The sauna in the new home is 100 times better than in the old.

129th day, 18 May, 2013

In the morning we got up early, made coffee and drove to the marketsquare. I don’t know, if Pukkila municipality succeeded in attracting new residents with the amplifying help of Taito’s audio devices. It was raining slightly. After setting up the PA system, Taito drove me to Mäntsälä, where I hopped on board of a Helsinki bus.

130th day, 8 July, 2013

We were on a mutual trip to Russian Carelia with Taito. It was not a Ten Journeys trip. We parted in Kuhmo in the afternoon; Taito started driving towards home with car, I stayed waiting for an airport cab. After fifteen hours of traveling at home in Helsinki at 9 pm. I took taxi via Tuija & Riku, where I picked up two forgotten tent poles.

131st day, 9 July, 2013

I called Taito. Called to Seurasaari about setting up tomorrow’s gig. Printed liquorice slips. Updated the diary.

The bus arrived to Pukkila at 17:30. Lost to Lempi at block game. Then we wondered on plants, which had grown wildly. Ate strawberries, raspberries and raddish. Enjoyed sauna and ate Ilona’s summer soup, and a large, round, yellow zuccini, that Taito fried.

After dinner to groceries. At Siwa we didn’t find wheat flour in one kilo bag, and there were only 14 liquorice bars. From Sale we found the one kilo bag & missing 16 liquorice bars. We drove to Taito’s

studio. By the door, in a flower pot there sat four birdies, brown with light spots on their backs. Their mother was a sparrow-sized bird with light brown chest. We took along the tuba and a c-cassette, that Topi Korhonen had asked from a Turkish pizzeria in Orimattila. (We didn’t need to use it, since we found a new cassette in the Merc.) Then we tested the printer Taito had gotten free: it can do two-sided!

Back to Taito & Ilona’s. Telly to the Merc. Car’s fridge didn’t want to start. Let’s use icebox. Didn’t find ice bricks, put a few water bottles to the freezer. Timberjack’s stuff, tuba and tent to Merc. A moment of pondering what to do tomorrow with the wet tent – according to the weather forecast it’s going to rain the whole day. Today was sunny. It’s tomorrow already. Bed time.

132nd day, 10 July, 2013, performance nr. 39

We woke up at 6:45. Coffee & toast. It doesn’t rain in Pukkila yet, nice cloudy weather. Start at 7:35. The car is full. Must trust that we have everything we need with us, the car was packed in May. Arrived to Seurasaari at 9. The tent stood up at Antti’s Square at 10:20. Stuff inside. At noon we noticed that we had left our dvd inside of the broken Playstation. The player we had borrowed had Lost’s 7th part inside. Didn’t check the season. Called a cab, and went for a spare dvd from Vaasankatu. It started to rain softly. On road Taito called, that the RCA cable I had bought yesterday was wrong, it was male-male, should have been male-female. I had a ten metre S video cable at home, but the image would be B/W, without sound. Who cares. It stopped raining. At the tent we noticed that the image mediated by the S video cable just flashed on the screen, before it began to snow. But the dvd worked.

The Vietnamese began to play at Antti’s Yard at one. Taito began to make pancake batter. I went to the office to check a folk dress for next week’s gig, but I thought over, can do it next week too. Made coffee. Cooked four eggs that weren’t needed for the batter. A tourist couple shot pictures of each other with our bear. We dressed the bear into a waste bag. Ate the eggs. Well, I didn’t. Taito brought fish sandwiches from café, and it was enough. Delicious. More coffee. The gong group

came. And the other Vietnamese too. Taito bid farewell to them with presents from his cd collection. It is 14:40. A hint of rain in the air.

While I was in the toilet a dad with his son had visited the tent, and the father had tried to sell video services for Taito. Taito didn’t buy.

I decided not to make more coffee, and stepped into the tent at quarter to three. Atro had come, and Kimmo came after me. Arja was there as well. Our audience! There were a dozen of Vietnamese, and a family from Haapavesi. Coffee & pancakes. Half of the Vietnamese left at three, when the performance actually began. Taito sang a sad song and about Möllberg, which is one my favourites. We watched the Worm Journey and fried more pancakes. The Haapavesi family left, and a foreign couple came in. Atro’s phone rang, and I waited until he finished the call, before I told about my life as a subsidized artist. Sawing session. Taito waited for his moose. A couple of new people came in. The Vietnamese sang about new year, and played gongs. Amazing sound. Once finished they left. Nobody wanted to buy my Burkha impro, so I bought it myself, presented it to Santa Kimmo. Another family, Taito knew them, stepped in just when Santa gave gifts to the people. Relaxed feeling. People came in and went away. Three of them were there with us from the beginning to the end.

But it didn’t rain! The tent stayed dry. We striked all down, and packed the car peacefully, washed the dishes and packed the tent. We left Seurasaari at 19:30. Took the tent to Tuija & Riku. Then Taito continued to the north, while I hopped into the 67 and went home. Tired.

133rd day, 30 October, 2013

We met at Pukinmäki Mac store at half past three. We share the dislike of starting to use new gadgets. Unfortunately one cannot avoid it in this world of ours.

Then we drove to Mäntsälä shopping mall to buy red wine, salad ingredients and fish. Dark-roasted Juhla-Mokka coffee was on discount, we got two kilos for ten euros. That’s for Ten journeys. And

all the liquorice bars we found, 54 pcs. At Taito’s we made food, drank wine, got tipsy, talked about life basics, read Astrid Lindgren to the girls and hit the bed.

134th day, 31 October, 2013

Lempi woke me before eight. Said that it’s frosty outside, all the ponds icy and the earth white. I got up and went for coffee. Taito took the girls to the school and kindergarten.

Then Taito had to write one email, but finally we stood outside next to the Merc. Its windows were frozen, and pine needles all over. Suddenly I couldn’t believe, that we’ll drive with that car to Germany in three weeks. Fortunately the sun was shining. First we cleared the car surroundings by carrying garden benches to the shed. The smell inside of the car was not bad. We switched on the gas heating and fridge. Then we carried the rocking chairs and television out and up to the attic of the house. Something black was revealed underneath sofa’s pillows. It was strange because nothing was specially wet. We carried the pillows out to the wind, and washed and rubbed down the black spots less black. Wrote a what-do-we-need list. Went in for coffee, which we never had, and to write a couple of emails.

After lunch we returned to the car. Metered tire pressures and drove for shopping to Ori-Mattila – the motor turned on with the first try! Yiihaa! We were doing strong. And the good feeling continued at the spare parts shop, where we found oil filter that fitted our fourty-year old pal. Besides we bought 40 litres of motor oil and ten bulbs for the cabin lamps. Plus fire extinguisher and moisture eraser from Robin Hood. We spent too much money compared to our incoming fee. Back to Taito’s yard after four. It’s cold and dark but the atmosphere was not so unreal than in the morning.

We sat at the table to eat pasta Taito had cooked. Lempi said that it’d be funny, if the family had two fathers and a mother. After dinner Taito took me to the Mäntsälä station.

135th day, 8 November, 2013

At gig in Riga I got a message from Taito, that Merc had passed the yearly control without any objections. It means that we can drive until 30 April, 2015!

136th day, 19 November, 2013

A gray day. Arrived to Vuosaari metro station at three. Taito appeared to the parking lot at quarter past. We drove to the harbour. On board of the ferry at 16:10. Found our cabin, and went to sauna. After sauna we drank beers before dinner. After dinner to the shop to smell parfumes, uuh. Then we fed some coins to the poker machines. Now we are lying in our cabin, making room for beer. Taito taught me to count reference numbers for invoices. He also remembered that I used to number my invoices according to the year. I had forgotten that. But Taito remembered, since he had started to use the same system. I checked it, and I had given up the year system in 2006. Don’t remember why.

In bar we ordered beer, but there was no football on the television. We listened to the neighbour table arguing about football. Ordered another round and talked about Taito’s coming concert. Then there was Germany–England friendly on the tv, and we ordered the last drinks. Finally we watched Zlatan–Ronaldo duel. Who won?

137th day, 20 November, 2013

We woke up at 10. Went to sauna. It was nice, since it was light. One could see the scratchings on the steam room’s windowsill – OLEG, RAGE, DYLAN, ZZ TOP. We meditated in the jacuzzi for half an hour, watching the steel gray sea and milky gray sky above it, horizon was soft. After second time in sauna we stood outside on the deck to cool down; it was raining slightly.

Then we had brunch for two hours. Taito explained me basics of movie sound designing, it’s marvelous to listen to someone who is an expert with clear words. After brunch Taito stayed at the cabin, I came to the bar to write this. Still eight and half hours to Travemünde. No land eye could catch.

Back in cabin I lied down and closed my eyes. Taito listened to Estonian singer-violinist Maarja Nuut, and wrote some own lines too.

After dinner we hit our beds again. Two and half hours to Travemünde. We’re a bit excited without GPS Taito didn’t find at home. I’ve got the route directions on my laptop, and we have the European Road Atlas 2001 in the car. We’ll manage!

The ferry arrives to Travemünde at nine. We drove to the shore twenty past. Car’s odometer shows a number 428930. Yippii, it’s not raining! The first hour 74 km. Yippii, the moon is shining and lighting our way! We begin to listen to Revelations audio book. The second hour 77 km.

138th day, 21 November, 2013

The third hour 77 km. The moon with starry sky is still with us. We stopped to tank at half past midnight, odometer 429168. 34,4 l of diesel, a couple of litres of oil, some cooling liquid, bretzeln snacks, marzipan chocolate, coffee for Taito & tobacco for me. We continue towards Berlin, with Marc Ribot’s Silent Movies on our headphones.

In Berlin we got lost for a moment, but found the right route quickly, and soon we saw the first Dresden sign. Berlin autobahn at night with Merc rules and rocks! After five hours we’ve driven 327 km. At 3:10 we stopped to sleep. 115 km to Dresden, our average speed has been 70 km/h.

We woke up at 7:20. It was freezing and the position sucked. Found some instant coffee in the cupboard. Taito switched on the gas heating, and I put on coffee water. Trucks are thundering along A 13. After Taito added some oil, we hit the road at 8:40. Arrived to Dresden hotel at 10:20, odometer showing 503 km.

At the hotel we got rooms, had some breakfast and called Hellerau. Then I took shower and jumped to bed. Now I’m researching the map, checking emails and writing this, that is to say, multitasking.

We walked to Hellerau. It was raining slightly. Found Dana, who showed us around. By the tent we met Christian, our technician. The

tent is a round, red and blue circus thing, that made us smile. It was located behind Hellerau, and had a gray fibrefoam beneath it. Next to it there was a big camper, where somebody is living permanently, and within twenty meters’ distance a fence, where one can see neighbouring farmer’s cows now and then. This is good!

We left Christian rigging heaters, and went with Dana for a tour: kitchen, shower, and of course the fabulous Hellerau, a palace for experimental art, built by a furniture factory owner a hundred years ago. During the last decades it was used e.g. as basket ball gym, but now it’s shining after renovation. We ate at the theatre’s pasta resto. Then Taito spoke some words in front of tv camera, in the tent. We bought some tram tickets from Dana, and drove to the city. I thought that Dresden was bombed completely during the WWII but there were many historical buildings there in the centre. We gave some change to accordeonist, but unfortunately couldn’t give any to opera singer who sang in a tunnel. Walked to Neustadt for dinner. Nice food, cosy atmosphere. Neustadt is full of stencils, must return to shoot them one of these days. Today was a good day.

139th day, 22 November, 2013

Woke up at 8:30. Look outside from the hotel room window tells that it’s either raining or not. For sure it’s wet there. Today we go to camping. But first hotel breakfast, which tastes as tired as it was yesterday; it seems like all the food has been sleeping there all night.

We drove to the tent and parked Merc next to it. They make a nice couple: a shiny red plastic tent and a pale, mossy, rusty car that looks like it has spent some years on the bottom of a sea, like Christian said when he saw it. While we were emptying the car into the tent, some Hellerau people came by greeting us, and Ricarda, Lea and Christina did so as well. We planned the set up, and fixed the lighting. All goes slowly but kind of smoothly. We haven’t seen the rocking chairs yet, but telly looks awesome.

After lunch in the staff cantina, where Taito’s pasta bolognese had more character than yesterday, we continued setting up. We may have

a near future problem, since we have around 100 liquorice bars. If we have more than 100 spectators in two shows, we’ll have to deal with that problem. Now it’s four o’clock, and it’s getting dark. Audience seats have arrived, and all our stuff have found their spots, more or less at least. We also found out that Christian didn’t know what is a rocking chair, Schaukelstuhl in German. Anyways, he promised we’ll have two of them tomorrow morning.

Finally we went for shopping. The nearest grocery is Lidl. We bought pancake ingredients, plus something for our own use: Spätburgunder red wine (great!), Limburger cheese (good!), some other cheese (didn’t taste yet), sunflowerbread (good), garlic butter (because the package was small and the best before date near, that is to say, it was on discount; good), green salad (good), sausage (Taito says good), ham (Taito says ok), apple juice, and clementines. Shortly, we had a delicious picnic in the car.

After picnic we went to the theatre to listen to Complaints Choir and to see Hermanis’ Long Life. Since premiere in 2003, they have done it more than 350 times. It is a long way to go. Then we participated in Latvian reception, drank sekt, red wine and Riga Black Balsam, talked with people, learned that many of those historical buildings in the city centre have been rebuilt of pile of stones, some call it Disneyland, asked Ricarda & Carmen for Santa Clauses, they said yes, listened to Norwegians & friends playing in a Tom Waits-ish style. Dancing with Carmen went a bit wild: kicked over a table with drinks with my heel, fell to the floor, like Carmen too. Don’t remember when we came home to the car to sleep.

140th day, 23 November, 2013, performance nr. 40

Woke up at 9. Tonight the car was not cold, not hot, but perfect place to sleep. Went to shower to the office building where Dana had organised some towels for us. Returning to the car, Taito had made some coffee. Taito went to shower. Not bad, foggy morning.

After breakfast we jammed a little in the tent. Didn’t find common tune, pure dissonance. Wooden chairs & benches look sympathetic. No sign of rocking chairs.

At noon we took tram to Neustadt. I shot stencils for an hour, Taito shopped gifts for her daughters. Lunch at a fish shop restaurant on Bischofsweg, delicious! On our way back we bought bread, cheese, meat, toothbrush, and deodorant. Back at the tent we see that rocking chairs have arrived! Mine looks like a combined hammock-spiderweb. It’s cold in the tent. Nap time, 15:20.

At four Taito starts to make pancake batter. I cook coffee. Christian brings pillows. Dana is searching for our booklets. Ricarda comes and is briefed how to be a Santa Claus.

First guest arrived at 17:35. At six we had a full tent, 50 people. Serving took 20 minutes, but I didn’t feel any rush nor pressure. As usual Taito sang a sad and a merrier song. We watched Subway journey. The booklets never arrived! Fortunately we had plenty of Bastard booklets in the car, I went for them. We had also four German booklets from Pazz; we’d have needed more of those. Finally I read how it all began so many years ago. Taito left. I told about my life as a subsidized artist. Bear made people smile once again. And Waiting for my moose too. More pancakes, more reading, tuba. Yellow guy entered, and rocked. The auction was over with the first bid – 10 euros. Worm journey. Red guy entered, Ricarda Santa looked a bit miserable, but people sang two songs for her. Gifts, and finally I told what kind of a day we had. Tonight one third drank coffee, two thirds tea, preferably green. Then Susanna gave people questionnaires, concerning translation in theatre.

After the show we talked with Susanna. Then Anna came, Susanna left, and we moved to the car. Had a sip of whisky. Another Anna and Katja joined us. We heard that Lithuanian band had missed their flight, and their concert would start late. In the theatre bar we talked with Anna and Georg, who were supposed to move the following day, then with Oliver and Tellervo. With O & T we finished the evening in the car, having a night bite of cheese, bread, and meat.

141st day, 24 November, 2013, performance nr. 41

Woke at 10. Got up at 10:45. Went to shower. Made coffee. Taito went to shower. Had breakfast. Wrote what happened yesterday. In the morning the weather seemed bright but now it’s raining. Almost noon. Time to clean the tent & wash the dishes.

At two all is done, only the dishwasher is still running. Nina and Lea came by, and we made a plan how to get to Berlin tonight. Taito will drive us there with a brand new Volvo. It’s raining. After nice lunch in the theatre resto, the dishwasher has done its job. Cups to the tent, head onto pillow. After nap Taito made the pancake batter. He had to use normal baking powder since we ran out of baking soda. I wonder, if we will notice any difference. I’m making coffee. Christian came by, saying that he had learned two new words, rocking chair and fire extinguisher. It’s ten to five. It’s not raining at the moment. Taito began to fry pancakes at 17:30. Coffee is ready. In the tent it’s colder than yesterday. Breathing steams.

The first guest arrived at 17:40. At six we had 40 people in. A few more dropped in a little bit later, and one guy even half an hour later. Half of them drank coffee, half tea. Three people didn’t want pancakes, which were delicious as usual; baking powder works! Taito sang a melancholic song, that actually has an optimistic, wishful end. Then a merry one. The booklets had arrived, they were A5 size! I spread them around. Told how it all began. Told about my life as a subsidized artist. Sawed a while but didn’t manage to cut anything. Taito did the thing once again with his Stihl – entrance of the bear! And then we waited for the moose; people were quite reactive tonight. Burkha rocked as usual, and this time I had a real dance girl too – Anna! The auction ended at 1,27 euros and vodka. Carmen said that she’ll pay the vodka in April, when we come for the car. As video, a young man wanted to see Moose Journey again. Santa Anna came in and was happy. We sang a German and a Finnish Happy Birthday to her, before handing gifts. Five liquorice bars were left. After the show people stayed quite long eating pancakes, marveling on Merc, and buying some cd’s.

We packed the car quite fast. Guy who lives in the big camper popped in and invited us for beer. Suddenly we were ready, and Christian was still washing our dishes, so we paid Karsten and his wife a visit. Amazing mobile home, with oven etc. After Christian had done the dishes, we parked Merc, left keys to Karsten, texted Christian, hopped into festival’s white sponsor Volvo, and started towards Berlin at 22:30. Starry sky above, half moon in the east. After a few kilometers in this fancy car, Taito commented, funny Nintendo finish for this trip. We arrived to the hotel just after midnight, found our rooms, ate the leftovers from car, had a glass of beer, and bid farewell to each other.

142nd day, 22 February, 2014

Tonight I saw Maike Lond’s lecture performance on money, art and politics. It is called Ten journeys to a place where nothing happens. I liked it, and the title is absolutely beautiful!-)

143rd day, 26 April, 2014

We woke up at my place at 4:30 am. Drank coffee, ate yoghurt. Bus # 620 to the airport. Lots of people in the security check, but it just flowed on. Our flight to Berlin took off according to the schedule at 6:40. In Berlin it was a beautiful spring morning, for a Finn it reminded summer. TXL to Hauptbahnhof. Tobacco and water. The train came from Hamburg and headed to Villach. Is Villach in Austria? The organizer hasn’t bought us seats, so for a moment I felt like a teenager on interrail. Taito is learning rune-song text by heart: he doesn’t see anything.

We arrived to Dresden before 11. Tram # 8 to Hellerau. Merc looked cute at the end of the yard. We met Anne-Kathrin who didn’t know anything about Merc’s keys. No reason to worry. She started calling around, and we got into the car through window. It was warm inside, and it didn’t smell bad. We checked oil and cooler. Emptied 5 liter jerry can of diesel into the tank. Taito noticed that one of the back tyres was empty. Anne-Kathrin had found the keys but car didn’t start, empty batteries. We found electricity underneath of Karsten’s bus,

Anne-Kathrin brought cable, we put charger on, and went to eat pasta. When we returned to the car, Karsten was changing battery to his bus. He said that Merc is not under heavy load, we can do with one tyre, when he was in Mauritania they had always taken the inner back tyre away, and car didn’t get stuck into sand too easily. Taito was not convinced.

We left from Hellerau at 13:20. After ten minutes of driving we took 36 litres of diesel to the car, and five to the jerry can. Then we started checking air pressures. The air valve or its tube made sizzling noise. We changed the tube, pumped the tyre, and checked the other tyres. And brake liquid. To the road at 14:10. The speedometer doesn’t want to work properly. We smell like something is burning, and watch the direction of the back tyre. Then we smell raps. We put plugs into our ears. Nice landscape, summer weather.

The 1st hour 67 km. We stopped to check the empty tyre, that was not empty anymore, and drank coffee with ice cream. We gave lift to two young hitch-hikers, Magda and Keczi, who belonged to a bunch of youngsters who were hitch-hiking to Valencia, via Munich, Zurich, Montpellier and Barcelona. The 2nd hour 40 km. At 16:40 it rained a little. This gave us the opportunity to wonder on the performance of Merc’s windscreen wipers. The 3rd hour 75 km. At 17:48 we passed a Dutch truck that was coming from a rest place. It passed us 13 minutes later. 1–1. The 4th hour 73 km. We stopped for fuel (32,89 l), and added some oil. Magda and Keczi left us at this service station around 50 km north of Nuremberg. The 5th hour 42 km. I prepared Santa’s gifts, and the c cassettes. We talked the performance through. At eight it started to rain. The 6th hour 78 km. Rain stopped at 20:20. At 20:40 we crossed the highest bridge in Germany, the 185 m high Kochertalbrücke. It’s dark, the sun has set. Taito is bursting with ideas for slow performances: Miracle of Life, part 1. Plant a seed and wait for it to germinate. Part 2: A chicken lays an egg, and broods it until a chick is born. Music performance for two flutes. First I must learn to play flute. Then we play a piece extremely slowly, 5 x 8 hours. This is recorded. Finally we play the recording in fast mode, and a familiar, simple song is heard. The fourth slow performance: A man cuts his

chest with a knife. The performance is over when it has healed. The 7th hour 75 km. At 21:35 we pass football club Hoffenheim 1899’s stadium. We arrive to Heidelberg at 22:20. Park the car at 22:35. 525 km, our average speed was 64 km/h.

First we are greeted by Annika. She’s in great mood, as usual. Then Katja comes running, an icy glass of vodka in her hand, and calls a woman to move her BMW, so we can park the Merc. Our hostess Marion appears, and another Katja. Quick plan: food, drink, bed. Food was good, drink was good, but our feet were trembling after the long trip, and this invalidated the drink’s effect. Too bad. We talked with many Finns, and some other people too. Finally Marion guided us to the hotel. It’s one o’clock. Thunderstorm.

144th day, 27 April, 2014, performance nr. 42

Woke up at 8. Had breakfast. The rain had stopped. Foggy, green hills on the both sides of the old town looked beautiful. Arrived to the tent at 9. Marion came too. First we took a look inside of the Merc. The skylight window had leaked, and there was a lake on the table. Well, let’s dry it, and fix the window’s seal later, we don’t want to sleep under a water fall. (At night the table becomes our bed.) Then we took a look inside of the tent. It felt chilly and empty. First we thought how to set up our home. Brushed the floor, brought a big carpet, rocking chairs and tv from the theatre house, our own stuff from the car. Once again we had to acknowledge the power of the tooth of time, watching the slow decay of our things. Indeed, everything is destroyed, gradually. Marion brought some fruit, chocolate and pancake ingredients. We met many technicians who asked if we needed anything. Well, maybe you could bring a rubber carpet on top of the cables, that go between the car and the tent. That we didn’t get, but somebody had put a cardboard under the engine, being afraid of oil drops. It’s noon, we are not ready yet, but it’s coffee time. Actually we went for a second breakfast to the theatre. Returning to the tent, we finished the set up. Doubted for a moment the third row of chairs, but it worked, they were so near to us anyway. One o’clock. Taito is playing guitar. The neighbour cafe borrowed us blankets! April had

been so warm, that Katja had forgotten about the blankets. Karen and another Katja came to say hello. Marion brought three high chairs and two yellow roses.

At three, after a nap, we sat in the car, thinking that actually we’d like to go for couple litres of wine and some cheese, and let the audience do nothing by themselves in the tent, while we drink our wine and eat our cheese in the car. Eventually, Taito made the pancake batter, while I cooked the coffee. Katja came by, and Thomas and Esa. And Mathias to talk about videoing for Nachtkritik. Suddenly sink’s water pump didn’t want to stop. No clue what is wrong with it. I thouched it, and it stopped. Tenderness helped. It’s four, the sun is shining. Taito started to fry pancakes at 16:30. Holger came, and I explained how to act as Santa.

We knew that the tent will be full, and hoped that people would begin to arrive gradually already before five. It didn’t go like that. At five we had fifty people in the tent. There were many familiar faces there: Katja with her family, Thomas, Karen and Till, whose shoes traveled with us for a long time before we threw them away. Lots of coffee, it almost finished, some tea plus pancakes. The induction cooker was tricky again. It took 25 minutes to serve everybody. Rocking, a sea of smiling faces around us. Taito improed a funeral song, but it vanished among church bells and street musician’s sax. It worked though. Watched the Worm Journey. Taito started frying again, I gave people German diaries, and told how it all had begun. Then I told about my winter as a subsidized artist. After the sawing sessions we had a black bear in the tent once again. Waiting for My Moose worked, although I forgot to switch on the Moose Journey. For the first time! The cooker didn’t want to work, so I read an excerpt of our journey to Oldenburg. Taito played tuba, and told about his life as a record mogul. Burkha was ok, the cassette was sold with five euros, that ended surprisingly into my pocket, after I had drawn a green fellow onto the cover. Taito brought a shy Holger Santa in, who almost couldn’t say a word. People sang beautifully, and got liquorice as reward. Finally I told what had happened today.

After the performance we talked with friends, Taito sold a few records, we changed our clothes, and went to eat asparagus with Karen, Thomas and Till. Asparagus season! Later we went to the theatre, and finished the day with Katja in our car. Katja got a mini bottle of aquavit we had brought from Trondheim, Taito a mini bottle of gin Katja brought, and me the rest of the whisky. It wasn’t midnight yet, when we hit the bed. Before that we switched the car battery charger on. The gas heater didn’t start.

145th day, 28 April, 2014, performance nr. 43

Woke up around 8. Got up at 9. It was raining a little. Went to the theatre to shower. Then breakfast at a nearby bakery. Back at the tent we cleaned it, and collected dirty dishes for Marion to wash. Came to the car to write this, while Taito stayed in the tent washing the induction cooker and the pan. Marion came. We talked about last night, before she took the dishes and went washing.

It’s almost noon, we go for a walk. Walked to the schloss. Lots of stairs, nice view, gorgeous green trees. Walked down to the river. Bought salami, cheese, bread, butter and wine. Returned to the tent. Someone had brought us a bottle of wine with a postcard, thanking for the yesterday night. Marion had brought the pancake ingredients and clean dishes. Lunch at the theatre canteen. Taito chose a wurst salad, that looked like pink spaghetti, I got a big bowl of cherry tomatoes and small mozzarella balls. After lunch I prepared Santa’s gifts, and we talked about our great concert experiences. A power nap. It’s 16:20, the pancake batter and coffee are ready.

People started arriving already at half past four. Soon we had 45 persons there. Mathias, who saw the first show too, came now with his 90-year old father. A woman was especially eager: ”Hey, did you notice me? I’d like to have a cup of coffee?” Taito controlled the induction cooker better than yesterday, still for some reason, the frying went slowly. (We love our gas cooker, but it’s too dangerous in Germany!) First coffee, tea, pancakes later. Sitting down on my rocking chair, the smile sea was not as wide as day before, but there were a lot of sympathetic faces. There were three Finns too! As usual,

Taito began with a blues, and continues singing about Möllberg’s adventures. Watched the Leisure Journey. Told how it all began, and fried more pancakes. Told about my life as a subsidized artist. Sawed the bear. Waited for our moose. Were record moguls. Rocked in burkha. The best bid was all the cash from her wallet, which turned out to be more than five euros. As bonus we an Armenian sim card, without PIN code, though. Katja’s Santa had moustache on the top of her nose. The Finns sang a Finnish christmas carroll, earning liquorice for everybody. Finally I told about our day, what had happened.

After the show we talked with people for a moment, before cleaning. Marion and Angelina took care of the dishes. Packed our stuff which stayed in the tent for the night. Went to the car to think what to do. Marion came and Angelina too. Drank a bottle of red wine, talked about frog eating, Russia, and moose’s gaze. The women left, we opened another bottle, and ate bread, cheese, sausage and fruit. Were in bed before midnight.

146th day, 29 April, 2014

We both woke before six. Threw water and stayed lying on the bed til eight. Taito went to shower, while I cooked eggs and coffee. Breakfast in the car.

To the road at 10:30. Tanked 27 litres, and searched for a liquor store we didn’t find. At 11:30 we passed Riedstadt, where Georg Büchner had been born. The 1st hour 50 km. At 11:35 we passed Darmstadt, where my aunt lives as a Marienschwestern nun. The 2nd hour 80 km. It’s raining. The sky is dark gray. The windscreen is leaking from the corner at down right. It’s raining hard. The seal of the windscreen is leaking at many spots. The rain stopped. The 3rd hour 54 km. At 13:16 we turned from A5 to Alsfeld to buy beer. We found a shop, but before we got in, we were stopped by the police. They said that our car is a problem seeker in Germany. We spent one hour in the shop: 11 cases of beer (one non-alcoholic), two cases of Bionade and one apfelschorle (for kids), two bottles of Talisker. As gift we got two bags of barbeque coal and a beer glass. Since our cards were not valid in the shop, Taito had to visit ATM, with the salesgirl. The 4th hour 0 km,

the 5th 69 km. At 15:40, by Kassel, we got jammed for a moment. At four we tanked 31,47 l and added some oil. Taito ate a brisk currywurst, while I had asparagus salad that was washed with raspberry vinegar. Coffee to go. The 7th hour 41 km. At 17:40 the car’s exhaust pipe fell off. The engine had been making odd noise all the time. We should have tightened the join. Everything collapses. We’d have made ok without this happening. It’s noisier in the car than before. And it was noisy before too. Taito pushed earplugs even deeper into his ears. The 8th hour 75 km. The sun is shining, it’s warm. At 19:10 pee & cigarette pause. The 9th hour 70 km, 10th 68 km. It’s becoming dark, the sun is setting. We pass Hamburg. At 21:18 we tanked 43 l. After five minutes of shoving coins into the vending machine in the toilet of the gas station, I finally had a Travelpussy in my hand! It will be the first prize for male players at our next mahjong night. The 11th hour 59 km. After twelve hours and the last 48 km we arrive to the harbour at 22:25. Our average speed was a fierce 54 km/h.

Waiting for entering the ferry, we ate Katja brought croissants and Danish bread plus other stuff. Entered the ferry at 23:45. To the bar. At the bar we drank two beers, saying to each other how well we had made. It’s half past 3. Sleeping time.

147th day, 30 April, 2014

Alarm went off at ten. To sauna. Noticed that it’s not the same ferry as before, since the bubble bath stairs were on the left side of the bath. From sauna to brunch. Glass of sekt and food. The sun is shining, the sea is magnificent. On the afternoon we sat for an hour on the sundeck, in the sun. Taito made a poem of his childhood and sang it. Drank Franziskaners as aperitif in the cafe. At dinner we chatted with a couple whom we had met already at brunch, since they had been given our table. The husband turned out to be a Merc man, so we continued chatting after the dinner until they closed the bar. We were invited to his workshop, which is located 20 km from Pieksämäki toward Mikkeli. In cabin we watched show wrestling, billiard, and whatever before calling it a day.

148th day, 1 May, 2014

Woke up at 8. Breakfast. Out of the ferry at 9:45. At home at 10:15. An hour later Taito texted that he’s at home. In the afternoon he texted, that he’s sitting in the Merc with his family, listening to music on the car’s cd player. It works! How comforting, not everything has turned into junk yet.

149th day, 28 May, 2014

Came to Taito & Ilona’s already late last night. This morning Taito woke me up at 7:30. Coffee was waiting, Taito & girls sitting by the kitchen table, Ilona sleeping her flu away. The girls to school & kindergarten, we emptying the Merc. Took stuff to attic, moisture sensitive things into a warm, the others into a cold closet. It took an hour. Another cup of coffee helped us thinking of our next move, that is to say, how to park all the cars on the yard. After coffee we moved Lada’s engine Taito had used in his performance from Hiace to Opel. Then Taito parked 508 next to Sprinter, and hiace in front of them, leaving space for lawn-mover to go to the shed. Drove to the studio. Moved the Lada’s engine inside. Recorded twenty minutes of my panting. Planned virtual sound theatre and decided to write a quick grant application. Drove for lunch to Kohiseva. After delicious fried baltic herrings I took a bus to Helsinki. At home at five.

150th day, 11 November, 2014

Woke up at 7:40. Gray morning, rain & wind. Subway to the bus station, bus to Porvoo. A short walk along the Porvoo river, dreaming of the sun, then bus to Pukkila, where I arrived at 11:15.

At Taito’s Taito & Mauri were under the Merc, fixing the exhaustion pipe. It was a bit more complicated than it sounds, because Taito hadn’t gotten all the spare parts needed. Well, these guys are magicians: Merc was ready to go in a minute. But we were not ready. First we had to drink coffee. Then we packed the car. Then some shopping of medicine and food, and tuba from Taito’s studio. At 17:50 we hit the road. First stop: 30 l of diesel. Arrived to Lasipalatsi Square

at 19:10. Only the guard was there, but we didn’t have to wait for Kimmo too long. Setting up the tent. Moving of 200 kg concrete ballasts was not easy. But Kimmo mastered them just fine. And then came Kari. He knew the knots. At 23:00 the tent was up. We emptied the car into the tent. Afterwards we had beer & Russian brandy & bread in the car with Kari. He left and we visited the Baltic Circle office toilet. Guard solved sudokus in the tent. We went to bed at 00:45, without managing to switch on the fridge nor the gas heater, but we had the electric heater on & put the food to the tent. Camping in the Helsinki city centre!

151st day, 12 November, 2014, performance nr. 44

Woke up at 8. Got up at 9. Quite a noise around the square. Our guard said it was a really boring night, nothing happened. Now somebody’s building something with a heavy hand, quite near. The sun is shining, + 7 degrees. My body is aching. It was a nice night, though.

Taito wakes up and asks, why some people, that is sculptors, make bears and some penises. I’m making coffee and porridge for breakfast. After eating we spent half an hour sending a tweet. It’s half past 12. We’re almost done with the tent. The heaters plus blankets are missing. I go home for liquorice and c-cassettes. Coming back we went for lunch. After lunch I shopped pancake ingredients. Back at the tent Taito prepared pancake batter, while I was busy with Santa’s gifts. Kimmo & Matti installed the heaters to the tent, and electricity kept coming and going. (Later Taito found out that some of the heaters were not working.) Hanna visited us and took an Instagram photo. She also promised to be our Santa. Vanessa brought the diaries. Quarter to five. Hurry up.

John was the first to arrive. He was followed by forty people. Nice crowd. We were feeling happy. Then Taito sang a sad song, and my mood changed. A merrier song made me merrier. A video journey. How it all began. Now I’m drinking sparkling wine Eva brought, and don’t remember any more what happened there in the show. Hanna was a great Santa. Cassette was sold with three hugs. Taito sold one cd. Akseli appeared when we opened the wine. Perfect timing. Our

guard appeared too, and Taito fried him some pancakes. At 8 pm. there are four of us in the tent: Taito, Eero, guard and me. Frying pancakes, drinking coffee, finishing the wine. Then we spent an hour in the car with Eero, talking about funeral music. Like can-can. Then I went to check the sea.

Later we met with Taito at the festival lounge. Talked with Annika, Maike, and Christopher. Back at the car some bread, cheese and night cap. Bed at one.

152nd day, 13 November, 2014, performance nr. 45

Alarm went off at 8. The guard had become a woman during the night, his car had become her bike. Well, they had changed shifts at 6. The night had been peaceful. After porridge & coffee I biked home for Juha Valkeapää 50 yrs performance.

Back at the tent at 14:30. While I was gone Taito and Eero had been playing in the car. Taito said twice, how good place it is to rehearse. A proud car owner! And he had managed to switch on the fridge. It’s colder, windier today. More heaters would be nice. Taito tries to fix those we have, and manages to turn off the electricity from Dries’ installation. Swinging fairy got cold, oops.

It’s four. Power nap time. It’s five. Everything is ready. Kimmo brought a big heater; the tent seems like to become a bit warmer. People started to arrive at 20 past 5. Fifty of them make the tent full. It is like sauna here, two Russian ladies said, taking off their coats. Report of the show: Most of the people drank coffee. Sven won the auction with five euros. Juha was the Santa, whom Taito kissed. Fitness and Worm Journeys. Lots of pancakes. Many stayed after the finish. Once people had left we cleaned a bit, Saara visited, the guard appeared, and we left for dinner to Turkish Ani, where we mind-stormed a new performance – Ville and Valle, karaoke kings!

Festival lounge with lots of familiar people: Tilmann, Maike, Anna, Annika T, Eva, Hyde, Annika Ü. Irina tells us to be there tomorrow at

ten, it’ll be her birthday flashmob. (We didn’t make it, sorry, Irina.) We leave early for bed. It’s cold. It’s midnight.

153rd day, 14 November, 2014, performance nr. 46

Alarm went off at 8:30. A similar morning than the previous one, it seems, looking how people walk outside. Chilly. Porridge and coffee. At 9:30 I biked home for Juha Valkeapää 50 yrs. Back at the tent at 14:00. Taito had made the dishes & pancake batter. The last tuning-ups, and I began to cook coffee. Taito said that for the whole afternoon our surroundings had been extremely noisy. But the crane repairing the old chimney had left, and the stone drill didn’t sing any more. Only Dries’ muezzin was singing now and then. And the tent is warm.

It’s 3. We are ready. Mikko arrived, sweating after 15 km’s of biking. He changed clothes. Tero came, but turned around for a smoke. Johanna came 15 minutes late. We were quite happy seeing her. Subway Journey. Burkha rocked for two euros worth. We heard a Norwegian christmas carroll. Finns remained quiet. Conclusion: Norwegians are bravier than Finns. Shortly: 40 people; black coffee and pancakes; Akseli peeped me sawing, but helped us in striking down after the show. Before we started striking it all down, we chatted with Tero, Tapani and Virpi. Kari came to help us too, again! The camp was empty at 19:15. Taito started the Merc, and headed for home. I spent some time in the festival office, thinking what to do, and finally biked home. Maybe this was our last journey.

154th day, 19 November, 2014

We had talked about emptying the Merc this afternoon, I’d spend the night in Pukkila, and return to Helsinki with Taito tomorrow morning. It’s afternoon. Taito doesn’t answer the phone, a text message arrived, though, ”tuu msälä”, come msälä. I walk to the Pasila station. Taito calls when I’m on my way, telling that he’s been substituting a teacher at the Pukkila elementary school the whole day. Not a bigger catastrophe, just the everlasting financial crisis.

Train to Mäntsälä where I hop into Taito’s Sprinter. We went for Lempi, and dropped her to arts and crafts club. Coffee with Ilona. Helmi came home from school, and told that Taito was a terrific teacher. At last we started emptying the Merc, and Lempi joined us after returning home. In an hour the car and the water cans were empty. Dinner. At seven Taito went to kettlebell class, while I stayed with Lempi in the house. Ilona brought a new Puluboi from the library, that I began to read to Lempi. A funny book. Helmi came home from the knitting club, and Ilona took the girls to the bed. Taito returned from his kettlebelling, and we drank little wine. A warm evening.

155th day, 20 November, 2014

Lempi woke me up with her trumpet. Taito had made porridge and coffee, and told that his student had cancelled the class, so he need not to go to Helsinki. We took Lempi to the kindergarten, Helmi to the school, and Taito drove me to the Mäntsälä station.

In the afternoon Taito called, that he had taken Merc to the yearly inspection. He should change the head of the track rod, patch two holes and wash the engine, because it was so dirty that one couldn’t see if there were any leaks or not. Taito had ordered the track rod already, he could get it from Lahti tomorrow morning, and planned washing the engine. Maybe he could weld the holes too, but not today since Ilona was away for the whole evening, but maybe before his departure to Vietnam on Sunday.

156th day, 22 December, 2014

Taito texted that Merc got through, the next inspection will be on 2nd of May, 2016! Merry christmas!


Heidelberg, Heidelberger Stückemarkt

27-28 April, 2014

Nordwind, Hellerau, Dresden

23-24 November, 2013

Seurasaari, Helsinki

10 July, 2013

Bastard, Trondheim

13-15 September, 2012

Baltoscandal, Rakvere

5-7 July, 2012

Kesäkatu, Viiala

16 June, 2012

Göteborgs Dans & Teater Festival

23-26 May, 2012

PAZZ, Oldenburg

21-29 April, 2012

brut, Vienna

January 19-21, 2012

Spielart, Gasteig, Munich

November 18-23, 2011

Homo Novus, Esplanade Park, Riga

September 7-8, 2011

Runoviikko, Kauppatori, Kajaani

July 8-9, 2011

Baltic Circle, Sepänpuisto, Helsinki

November 17-21, 2010


Juha Valkeapää

Performance is co-produced by